hearing loss

oh back here where it’s safe. I’m sorry. I’m selfish and I neglect. If you knew me you’d be aware of that. and perhaps you are.

the girlfriend has gone away tonight. made her way back to the hometown to discard her younger brother. which means I am left to do as my heart desires. and my heart desires sitting on the computer for as long as possible.

but

jane asked me over and I sat on her couch and listened to her bash the eight hour day and decide, wholeheartedly, that she will never be that working drudge in society. then she took another hit and strummed a few chords on her guitar. ah, true and pure potheads are the best kind to know.

I walked home and it was warm. Gordon stops to smell everything. I thought about how it was 2 a.m. and perhaps I could get mugged at that hour. but it was quiet all the way home.

My car has no air conditioning and I drive thirty minutes to work every day. The faceplate to my CD player has been stolen twice now. I bought an am/fm tape player and batteries from target but every station is fuzzy and it ate the only tape I’ve tried to play on it. All I want is to hear music in my car.

I wish I had a book I was excited about reading.

I haven’t seen my family in 7 months, the longest I’ve ever gone without seeing them.

I have to wake up earlier tomorrow to do the dishes.

I like my job.

This coming year is going to be crazy, I can feel it.

Tonight I am going to lay down in bed and be completely. alone.