a tragedy in three acts

god damn diary you are looking hot tonight.

I’ve bitched before about my perpetual bad luck that is, in my opinion, a thriving and relivant thing to bitch about. I enjoy bitching and crying and moaning about the misfortunes of my life for many reasons

1. it sucks when shitty things happen and consumes my mind in such a way I must voice it or simply lay down and be trampled
2. um, peanuts.

Act One

last night I worked the closing shift at my regular salon in happy vally, the vally of happiness. After finishing up my shift around 9 p.m. I did some cleanfeetcleanface practice on athena, the standard poodle, under the instruction of the oily haired chick. Yesterday I borrowed the third roommate’s car since he’s in florida and my car has no insurance.

His car has an “interlock device” installed in it. A breathalizer you have to blow into before your car will start. this is due to his 3 extreme DUI’s. moron. Apparently I had left his lights on all day. funnny since I drove to work during the day. the battery was dead.

A cute/funny boy named David offered a jump though after the jump I was not able to pass the breathalizer for soooooome fucking reason. I spent a forfuckingever trying to pass until fiiiiiinaaaallly I did. maybe I got drunk and forgot I got drunk or something.

David is funny and kind of indie looking and if I werent in a relationship and also mostly gay I would totally have a crush on him. He invited me to his party and in my head I was thinking how that shell necklace thing he wears is not only sort of gay but also dated.

I didn’t get home until almost eleven and Sal had shit on the floor twice.

Act Two

Today I spent some time in the bank pleading with the customer service fellow to waive some of the overdraft fees posted to my account. The mishap occured when the girlfriend ran out of checks and asked me to write a few for bills and other things and she would transfer the money. In short- the checks cleared before the money was deposited and thus everything I bought for there on out cost me an extra 33 dollars. 1.32 at port of subs = 34.32, 3.88 at starbucks = 36.88. I didn’t realize the account was overdrawn until it was overdrawn nearly 400 dollars.

FOUR HUDREND DOLLARS!! fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

On my lunch break I left the glory of dog grooming to make a 40 dollar deposite and upon receiving my atm receipt I nearly fucking cried. I put the card back in and printed out a statement. Today, after viewing my account, realized that the statement I printed out cost me a dollar, which, yes that’s right, ended up costing 34.00. do you know how much money 34 dollars is to me? DO YOU?!

Wells Fargo is a fucking peice of shit establishment with poor customer service and no corporate ethics. They feed off people with little money and treat you like your irresponsible and expendable. With all the bad experiences I’ve had with fucks from the wells fargo customer service department, I must admit, the tall black man who helped me today, did indeed help me. Waived over a hundrend dollars in fees and seemed halfway genuine.

Act Three

After arriving home and sending the girlfriend off to work I remembered I had parked the third roommate’s car in a handicap spot the night before. We often park in the handicap spots because our complex has an inadiquate amount of parking spaces and doesn’t really mind it. Yet that particular night some fucking horrible horrible legless or dismembered resident called and had me towed.

So, after paying almost 300 dollars to the bank in fees, I now owe 175 dollars to the towing company to get the roommate’s car out before monday, when he returns.

So, yes, I suppose it’s tiring to hear me bitch and bitch and bitch about the awful things and awful people in the world. about my countless misfortunes and the stupidity in everyone. and maybe everything that happens I bring on myself. maybe it is my sheer irresponsibility that forces me to continuously fuck up. or maybe I really do just have bad luck.

either way, I am broke. in every sense of the word.