My lip has a lip of its own thanks to my cat. OW.

Since we got Banjo, the foster german shepherd pup, our kitten, Milo, has been acting like a toddler who got an unwanted baby brother. For a few weeks he refused to come downstairs, only to eat and even then we had to put his food on the top shelf of the desk. Mum found him drinking out of the toilets (blegh) upstairs and I kept finding poop outside of the litterbox in the office (he’s acting out).

Milo’s usually ok with dogs. He’s absolutely perfect with Maggie because she completely ignores him and him her. He’s ok with Molly, who likes to play but doesn’t antagonize him by following him around. He’s comfortable enough to sit on the couch while she lays next to it and he’ll lean down and SWAT at her tail (and then look innocently away as if to say “What? It was a passing breeze”).

He hates Banjo (because Banjo loves him and wants to playplayplay).

Anyway, naturally I am quite distressed. Milo never comes downstairs to lay with us when we watch TV or whatnot. I miss him.

So tonight I saw Milo downstairs and went to pet him. Banjo followed me. All was dandy until Banjo got a little too close and I bent forward to rub Milo’s ears and try to get him to react. Milo had other plans.

The cat hissed and pulled back his hand and WHAPPED me in the face (he was going for Banjo but my lip got in the way). I got sucker punched by my kitten. Thank the gods we cut his nails a few days ago. As it was after i got over my shock, “OW! ow. owow. Mom I just got…am I bleeding?” *touches face* *blood runs down finger* *blood runs down chin*

Mum: “Oh wow. He took off your lip! I think you might need stitches.”
Me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mum: “Are you crying because it hurts or because you don’t want stitches?”
Me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!nostitches!!!!!!!!!
Mom: “Wow, he really —“
Me: “Don’t say anything. I’m going to go assess my new ugly factor.”
Me: *finds a flap of bottom lip missing* AGhgh! “When would I get stitches?!”
Mom: “From the girl who won’t even call the doctor to get her birth control renewed.”
Me: “I DONT WANT HER LATEX FINGERS POKING IN PLACES THEY SHOULDN’T”
Mum: “You only need one stitch. I could do it.”
Me: “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Mum: “You look like the joker now. Like Heath Ledger.”
Me: “MOM HEATH LEDGER IS DEAD.”

Actually I look a little like Tina Fey, who has a badass scar on her jaw. Only this is on my lip, moon shaped, and about the size of a dime (but looks awful).

So far the bleeding has stopped. I’m trying to decide if the injury is badass or ridiculous looking. Also having images of me trying to drink and it all coming out the other side of my lip. aGhhghg.

Anyway. More later I guess. I have to wait for a week and see if I feel “unusually tired (Mom I’m always tired), have a fever, or have flu like symptoms” from a possible bacterial infection.

Happy happy joy joy.