Christain Bale and my thyroid strike again.

Sunday night my dad sister and I sat down to watch Newsies, that 1992 musical with Christain Bale (yes, Batman himself) as the leaping and warbling star. Newsies was choreographed by the guy that did Footloose and High School Musical (it’s better than HSM). The movie has catchy songs, characters, and welcomes multiple viewings. So obviously the critics hated it. I respect Roger Ebert’s inner movie critic and generally I like to see what he thinks of films after I see them (I know that’s the reverse use of the movie critic system, but hey it works for me). Ebert hated Newsies. Gave it 1 1/2 stars. He complains about the choreography, the characters, the believability. I haven’t checked his archives for other musical reviews but I’m venturing a guess that he isn’t a fan. Musicals are for those that don’t mind kids breaking out in song and dance in the middle of a new york city street. (Note that there is a line..you don’t need a song every five minutes like in the movie Rent where they sing about practically everything like tying your shoes).

Sorry. Rant terminated. Anyway during the movie I started finding it hard to breathe. It wasn’t an asthma attack or bronchitis or any of that type where you can actually feel crap clogging up your lungs and then you cough it up in big pleghmish hacks. Not like that. I felt like I wasn’t getting all the air my lungs had to offer. I was getting 80% capacity. My dad listened to my lungs and heart and ruled out at the time either one causing my problems. So I was stuck with it being in my head, which things usually are so i left it alone until the breathing problem continued until yesterday.

It’s to the point where every few breaths I have to take a really deep one in an attempt to get what i think is "all" my air. This is really annoying not only for me but for anyone in my general vicinity. It sounds like I’ve taken to dramatic sighing every few minutes. It would drive me crazy so I know it’s driving my sister crazy. I went to my dad’s last night so he could test my blood oxygen (normal). He wants to test…something..so he says "Go run around the block twice." I’m naturally out of shape. I go to a school on the east coast where the gym is tiny, old, and far away from my dorm and my lazy butt. I didn’t exercise all year (I still got a PE credit – yay Archery!). So I say, "if i collapse i doubt it’s because of my lungs dad." but i go run around anyway.

half way down my first lap I huff "BITCH" under my labored breath which i feel fine about because I go back inside and my dad goes "So, is it hard to breathe?"

I think he just wanted to make me run around the block.

Then he looks at me, looks at my sister, then looks at me again. "you’re neck looks fat."

‘Uh, what now?"

"Come here."

He proceeds to feel my neck up. De ja vu. A few months ago my physician felt my thyroid up as well, had me tested. The tests came back with nothing.

"No fucking way am I getting a needle jammed in me for no reason again, dad."

I went home and made my sister stand next to me in the mirror.
My neck does kind of look fat.

My mom’s flipping out. My grandfather has a problem with his heart valve. It’s hereditary. My aunt has a disease of the lining of her heart. My mom has a heart murmur.

I have so much to look forward to genetically.

She’s made me an appointment with a pulmanologist for Tuesday. Fun.
And tomorrow I have an unrelated gynecologist appointment.

I’m already shriveling up inside.
I hate doctors and their wandering hands.

In unrelated news:

i have seasons 1-4 of greys anatomy unopened that I want to sell. (My grandmother got them for my mom…who doesn’t want them and my grandmother doesn’t have the receipts etc etc).

Ebay, Amazon, or Craigslist? I’ve never sold anything online (I’ve bought plenty) so I want to do it right. I also have 3 boxes full of old high school year books I need to sell.