finals

so classes are finally over and finals are beginning tomorrow. i have two finals: one friday afternoon and one saturday morning. i think im going to do ok, too. im really proud of myself this semester. if i do well on my exams i could be looking at straight A’s and that is wonderful. im really looking forward to being home. I miss new york and my family so bad. I cant wait to see my mommy. lol, that sounds so baby-ish, but its the god honest truth. my mom has been amazing these past few months; supporting my decision to take a semester off and paying my tuition. i love her so much and i really miss her. i get scared when i think about how old she is and losing her … ok let’s  not talk about that.

Anyway, speaking of losing things, E’dena leaves for Portugal tomorrow, which is awful. I am going to miss her so much. Who am I going to go to when i cant stand gina and jason anymore? Who am i going to go to when i want to talk about something REAL? I mean, after my exam on Saturday I’ll be completely done with the school thing, but Im not leaving until tuesday. SO that’s three days with nothing to do but be around gina and jason OR be sitting up in the room alone because Gina is off with him. They dont even take a piss alone anymore. UUgghhh it’s gross. I can not stand the way she is around him. Everything he says is captivating to her. She hangs on his every word, and OH dont try to talk while he’s speaking … she doesnt even notice. It’s so annoying. and on top of that she has been forgetting all these things she made plans to do because she got caught up hanging out with him. It is truly disgusting. and i mean, im happy that she finally feels like she may actually love someone of the opposite sex, but at the same time i went through my first love when i was 14. so watching someone be as cheesy and obsessive as i was in high school is annoying, lol. Luckily for me my boy friend didnt go to my school so i never put any of my girlfriends through this bullshit. but hey, thats life i guess.

Speaking of boyfriends, i’ve been sort of “seeing” this white guy on campus. he is from westchester and i really like him, but he and his girlfriend are only on a break and there is a good chance that they could get back together at any point.  it kind of sucks because im starting to develop feelings for him. but i have to be smart; ive learned too much abt myself and guys this year to be stupid enough to get attached to this guy. he leaves on saturday and wont be done with finals and work til friday night and i have an exam saturday morning so i cant even spend the night in his room. damn! he really is an amazing guy. he definitely isnt physically the kind of guy anyone would match me up with, but i am a sucker for his amazing sense of humor. he is one of the funniest people i know. aah well. it doesnt really matter though, the more i think about it the more i accept the fact that the next relationship i want to get into i would like to be with a woman. for some reason when i seriously think about having a boyfriend i kind of get turned off. im excited to be back in new york where my options are much greater. i miss the village, the pride parade is in june and i cant wait to go down there and meet up with people. i think my mom might have planned a trip down south for that weekend, i really hope not though.  hopefully if she did i can convince her that i am finally old enough and trustworthy enough to be left in the apartment alone. Ill have to talk to her though, but i think if im on my best behavior when i get back i can make a good argument, and she just might say yes. wish me luck. ok time to go to bed … ive got a busy day tomorrow.

ps MEG I WAS LISTENING TO THE TAPE I MADE THAT DAY WE WERE IN MY ROOM AND I SECRETLY TAPED OUR CONVO. DO U REMEMBER THAT? IT’S SO FUNNY. I MISS YOU SOOO MUCH HUN, I HOPE U’RE COMING TO NEW YORK SOMETIME OVER THE SUMMER.  AND IF U TALK TO MEGAN PLEASE TELL HER THAT I WILL DEF BE IN NEW YORK THE LAST TWO WEEKS OF MAY AND WOULD LOVE TO SEE HER. KISS KISS!!