12-1-20 recap

Yesterday was the first of december which was pretty cool and the temperature dropped really cold in florida so we got to enjoy some sweater weather, school went good and we got the photo for our yearbook staff taken and since im the editor in chief (alongside one of my friends who was absent) and they had me sit in the middle of the front row sitting straight with my legs facing forward with everyone around me with their legs facing towards me and everyone was like “make sure sam looks good hah!!” and for once i realized that everyone in that class loves me so muhc for everything ive done for it… and after school i went to work at my stupid walmart cashier job and i was ready to have a pretty shitty day but it was actually really nice !! and the people i got were so nice and complimented me all the time abt my hair dye and my piercings and one kid commented on the suicide silence hoodie i was wearing n i told him it was my boyfriends and all he said was “keep him :)” like bROOOO im gonna cry ofc im gonna keep him… and on top of how good yesterday went, lately my sister has stopped using my deadname and started using Sam and it makes me SOOOOOO fuckign happy to hear her call me MY name and not the one that gets thrown around the house all the time,, and last night she was referring to me towards either my bf or her friend and she used “they” for me and i think i teared up a little… like i use they and she but shes never used they for me… i guess she got the hint after i made a tiktok abt people who know i use both sets of pronouns but only use she and then she started which,,,, even tho it wasnt about her im happy she thought it was in some ways… Last night me n my boyfriend didnt really get into an Argument per-say but we did get into it with each other and it was solely based on the fact that we’re both jealous of the people in our lives,, which, i mean i definitely understand where hes coming from, me n my best friend dan are inseparable and attached to one another whenever we can be, but i tried to get with dan, i really did, for like all of our friendship until i gave up on wanting a relationship in early october, n then on the 8th this stupid lil edgy eboy walked into my yubo adds and,,, honestly,,, his yubo account looks nothing like what he looks like,, and to be fair looking back at mine same but he looked just a little ugly in his account but i added him back bc he had The 1975 in his tags and we started talking that day on snapchat n then i asked for his number n we were talking n then later at night i just kinda said fuck it and i asked him i he wanted to ft and,, he did! and i fell for him so fast after that and he became the only person i talk about and wanted to be with and just everything about him gave me butterflies and i lit up when i got a notification from him and it just… bro everything about him still makes me happy and makes me get full of serotonin when i think about him or when he texts me and especially when he sends me any photos of his face on snapchat, i just fall more and more in love with him and we finally called it official on the 18th and im literally so ??? wow.. i did it.. i really did it… i got the stupid guitar playing mentally ill emo boy who loves me and only me, and i couldnt be happier with that fact… i love him, and i really hope i make him happy one day, he already tells me about how i make him happier and want more from life than literally anyone does and im just, so happy that i can possible make someone feel that way about life no matter how shitty and stressful it is, im happy i can make someone feel like that again… even his friends have called him out and said that hes been happier and just nicer and his music has been more upbeat and shows more emotions that he hasnt expressed in his songs… i just love him so fucking much… i cant wait for the day i get to marry him and call him mine forever…