NoJoMo #3

Three days in a row!! How insane is that?

I would LOVE to fill this entry with positive stories and statements. Unfortunately, that’s not going to happen. Maybe next week?

Stan got to talk to his mom today, and he said she seemed loopier than usual, and that she hadn’t had any tests yet. I could tell he was pretty upset about it, even though he tried to play it off. He worries about everything so much, and he’s very close to his mom, so it’s just driving him crazy that she’s not the person she was 2 years ago. It breaks my heart to see him struggle with this, but I don’t know what else I can do for him but be there with kind words and strong hugs and warm love.

To make his day even worse, he heard from a co-worker that one of his peers got the job he applied and interviewed for. A lot of people went for this position, and he had a pretty good shot. I know he wanted it pretty bad. He said that he could take it if it were anyone but this person, and it makes him disgusted at how fake and phony the company is that she would get picked over him. My poor hubby.

I also got some worrisome news today. My aunt has been relatively sickly for the past few years, but things have been going downhill lately. My mom emailed me today to tell me my aunt’s having more tests done because of a spot on her lung, which they can’t seem to tell if it’s fungus or cancer. Her legs have also been swelling painfull, and she told my mom today it’s because the right side of her heart doesn’t work anymore, so it’s not pumping the blood properly. All this caused by, of course, smoking. And she won’t quit. It’s sickening and saddening, and I know my mom is very worried. To lose her sister so soon after losing her brother AND mother would devastate her. I hope she wisens up and stops smoking herself. How many people around you have to be affected before you realize it’s only a matter of time before YOU get the bad news?!

Ugh. I’m getting angry and sad just at writing all this. I have to step back.

Please, God, let tomorrow be a better day.