A Final Goodbye

It seems a little silly to write a final goodbye to a site I haven’t touched in months (and really haven’t fully participated in in years).  But this diary, this site, was a savior for me.  I owe it some final words.

I started this diary way back in 2000 after my father passed away.  I was 16 then, hurting and not sure where I could turn to let out some of the pain I was feeling from losing my father so suddenly.  How do you burden your other 16-year-old friends with something like that?  And how, in God’s name, do you form the words to express the pain you’re experiencing at that age?  This site gave me a way to cope.  It gave me a way to form those words.  And it also let my friends, and strangers, see those words and offer their own words on encouragement and support.  I’ve made a few friends on here that I’ve never actually met in real life, but whom I adore all the same.  This place changed my life.  Possibly saved it.  I was never suicidal, but I realize that could very well be because I had a place to vent, a place where I felt safe to just let go and lay it all out on the table.

It’s hard to believe this diary houses, roughly, 14 years of my life.  It’s seen me through happiness and heartbreak, marriage and divorce, love and loss.  The birth of a daughter.

OD, I’m sorry that I haven’t given you more time and respect.  You truly helped me in some of my darkest hours, and for that I will always consider you a home and will love you.  I’m sorry to see you go.  Thank you.  And to those of you who ever shared a kind word or an encouraging note, thank you times a million.  I could have never gotten through those days without you.

Farewell, Open Diary.  You will not be forgotten.