Second Thoughts?

Wow… this whole trying to be an assertive woman thing has me going nuts. I just don’t think it’s in my being to be the person that suggests the “dating” thing. I dunno.

I didn’t see Mike on Tuesday, our day off. So, Tuesday night, when Mikey and I rented a bunch of movies, we rented the GRUDGE. Haven’t seen it. Scared to. So.. Mikey suggests I ask Mike Minor to watch it with me.

I went to work on Wednesday and started to hint around it. “Hey, Edgar, have you seen the Grudge?” Mike Minor: “Hey, that’s supposed to be a good movie.” (Liz 1, Mike 0: He let me know he hasn’t seen it)

Later, “So, Mike, any fun and exciting plans tonight?” Mike Minor: “Well, I just downloaded this new video game, I think I am going to just hang out by myself and play it, like a loser.” (Liz 2, Mike 0: He let me know he really has no solid plans tonight)

Later still, outside smoking, “So, Mike, you are just playing your video game tonight?” Mike Minor: “Yup.” Liz: “You sure you don’t want to watch The Grudge with me?” “Maybe not tonight, but maybe if I get sick of my video game. Call me when you get out of work.” (Liz 3, Mike 0: I got the go ahead to call.)

Worked that night, the entire night not sure if I should call him, making it seem I was desperate. But, I did anyway. After I left, I called and left him a message. I got home, put on jammies, and waited. He called back around 10: “I am helping my friends move to Carpentersville. Don’t they understand that they call it moving DAY, not moving WEEK? So, yeah, no Grudge tonight.” Liz: “That’s cool. I can’t watch it by myself though.” Mike Minor: “Well, why don’t you grab some jeans and a shirt, stuff it with newspaper, and cuddle up to that.” (Liz 3, Mike 1: Brushing me off?) I told him to call me Thursday night if he wanted to watch it then.

He never called, but I was too exhausted to do anything. (Liz 3, Mike 2: He forgot?)

So, the more I delve into picking this fabricated relationship apart, the more I am starting to think to myself, “Maybe I should just take the friendship, and forget the crush part of it. I could always use another friend.” Me, being the spaztic person that I am, will give it another week for me to be assertive, and for him to get the hint, before I break down and during my most pre-menstral moment, pull him aside by the ear and tell him I like him.

So, tonight, I am going to call him when I get outta work. My excuse? Mike is having his boyfriend, Mike (I know, all I need is ANOTHER Mike in my life, right?) over tonight- sort of their Valentine’s day. I’ll call up Mike Minor, ask him if he wants to hang out because the Mike boyfriend duo has kicked me out of the living room. God, I hope he says we can hang out. I just want to see if I can act NORMAL around him instead of some loser girl that flirts with EVERY guy around her, except the one she likes.

… he seemed like he was avoiding me today. Once again, Liz reading too much into it. There was a mini party today at work for Mikey’s birthday. Kim brought it those candy conversation hearts. Mike Minor had a bunch in his pocket, and when I was sweeping up my section, he starts… “Oh, man, my pockets are full of junk!” dropping them to the floor. He only got two of them out of his pocket… the two that said, “CALL ME” and “KISS ME”. Man, if he only knew that I could someday take those to heart.

Someone, please ::hands over life’s savings:: buy me some guts to just TELL HIM. Not sure how much more I can take this crush… it’s starting to squish me!

Happy weekend everyone 🙂