Long Time Coming

I just got back from a funeral. It’s happening. People are dying who are not grandparents, but cousins. True, it’s a second cousin, almost a great aunt to me, but still, a cousin. As we were driving home from the funeral, my mom and I were surrounded by storm clouds. The clouds opened up and poured. Was is God’s way of crying? By the time I got onto the highway to drive back to my apartment, the storm clouds were no more. Straight ahead of me was a patch of clouds, holes seeping a heavenly light down upon me. And it hit me… God is amazing. God touches everything and everyone every day of their lives. How can people NOT believe in Him?

I don’t think I could go on living thinking that my one purpose on earth was to suffer day to day with no happy ending. I am positive that God did not put me here to make babies that will undoubtedly be screwed up by American society only to cease to live years later and lie cold in the ground, allowing my earthly form to be returned to the dust it was once born out of. There is so much that God has put on my heart to do. I know he wants me to finish school and leave the serving business forever. I know that he has put Mike in my life so that I can bring him to Him. I am not ready to give up this fight in life. I refuse to believe that I am only here simply for the sake of being here. God has a plan for me, and though I will never know what it is, I know that he is leading me there. God is always with me, He is the one person I can count on, the one person who will never desert me for screwing up. He’s there for me. I just wish sometimes he would speak a little louder.

I am going to try and write more. I forgot how much I enjoy it.