Today’s epiphany

I was watching Anne of Green Gables today and had an epiphany towards the end of the movie. Anne and Gilbert were talking on a bridge when she disclosed her plans to stay home and continue writing instead of heading back to school. What struck me was when she said “It’s just that i went looking for my ideals outside of myself. However, its not what the world holds for you, its what you bring to it. The dreams dearest to my heart are right here.”

I’m a 27 year old male going through an interesting point in my life right now. Specifically, i’m beginning to realize that everything i thought i wanted out of life isn’t actually important to me. I’ve pursued interests such as flying fighter planes for the Air Force, being a registered nurse, starting a business, living in a huge city, getting rich…all of which ended with the realization that my ego was responsible for these interests and not me. Not my heart…

So now i’m floating at the crossroads between Ego St. and Self St. and can safely say i’ve hit rock bottom. The beautiful thing about being in this unsettling place is there’s nothing else to do but improve; It’s almost like i’m being reborn again. The hardest thing for me right now is identifying what my heart truly wants and ultimately accepting whatever that is into my life…Its getting out of my own way and allowing who I truly am to rise to the surface.