things change

Now if i remember correctly it was shortly before this that sarah had moved to her moms in regina, leaving me without a friend in the world to talk to other than mike…considering although me and daniella could be pleasent to eachother we still wanted the other to suffer horribly for what they had done. And mike was a man after all that was doing drugs and while he claimed that he didnt want me to be his girlfriend we could still "hang out" which really ment that i would go over there and watch half a movie…fool around then he’d drop me off at home.I knew what was going on but i didnt care because i was trying to survive i really needed to have something…somebody in my life no matter how unreal it was. And he really was sensitive towards my cutting. i remember one day he even kissed the marks on my stomach.Things were definitally different though, no more daisies. and he actually began talking about his drug use with me. he pretty much had tried everything, and he drank alot. He never once offered me anything though, not even pot anymore, at the time i felt like he was treating me like a baby and i was really insulted that he didnt think i was old enough to do or see these things.I hated him for it, i remember one time sitting on the love seat with him and daniel was on the couch…he was just about to crush up some deluded and snort it. mike told him not to and daniel just kinda looked at him funny…like as if to say  why not. Mike hugged me but i could tell he was pointing at me behind my back.In actuality mike knew how vulnerable i was, from experience he knew that if i at all tried that stuff or anything i would completely loose myself in it, he was trying to protect me from myself. and looking back he was completely right.