first time

June 5th i planned on sneaking out to visit with mike and sarah who had run away from home and was now living at their place.I was suppose to leave at midnight but by that time my neighnbor was sitting outside on his porch in the rain reading a newspaper i lay on my bed furious that it wasnt working out. i tried to get the portable phone to call and tell him to meet me at a different time…but the phone was dead.

June 5 2001

well about um…20 min ago i was suppose to be meeting mike on horizon well some great that plan was…my parents are still awake and some bozo next door is sitting on his porch reading the newspaper who reads the newspaper athe 12:20 on a tuesday on the porch by themselves?he s rigth there i can hear him turn each page to make things worse out portable phone is dead so i cant call him to tell him to pick me up later the only other ohone is in my moms room…my MOMS room what a gip now i have to wait untiell that guy is done walk to a gas station call and wait some more untill mike gets there IMSOMAD

Well it was about 2 that i finally left. I practically ran to the gas station to call, he was so relieved to hear from me, he handed to phone off to sarah while he left to come get me. Sarah told me that he was so mad when i didnt show up that he actually punched his closet door. she said she tried to reassure him that something must have happend because i would never just stand him up like that. I was shocked that he would get so angry, and scared and even a little excited…i had never felt like i made any sorf of an impact on anyone. i felt invisable most of the time to have a reaction like that however disturbing it may be felt good.

Sarah was going through stuff of her own, running away from home and living with mike and daniel she had just recently lost her virginity to daniel, but at the same time wanted to be with another man, sonny. To deal with all the stuff on her mind she decided to drink that night lots and lots of vodka.I remember when i got there before she was drunk we switched jeans because i liked the ones she had on and she wanted to try mine on. we hung out a bit but when she started getting really drunk mike and i went to his room i dont remember what his excuse was…im sure it was his idea though. I sat on the bed and he came up to me and started kissing me. my shirt had buttons in the back and he reached for them but feeling impatient i just pulled it off over my head.I lay back on his bed and he pulled sarahs jeans off of me. He crawled up over me spreading my legs with his knees and leaning in to kiss me .I just remember him pulling back and looking at me with those sparkling blue eyes that had the most concerned look in them at that moment, he asked me if it was ok and i nodded, he asked me if i was sure and i nodded.He was absolutely gental with me and careful.Afterward we lay there listening to sarah vacume the livingroom. we heard a loud bang and decided to go see if she was ok.She was fine…just smashed i tried to talk to her but she didnt understand a word i was trying to say. It was getting early so mike drove me home. It was just barely getting bright out the was lightly raining i ran around the corner shaking from the love…not the cold.