It has to be over this time

The week was a bit rough. Kids had odd schedules. Baby was cranky. We all made it through. Friday, I went home when I didn’t expect to. There was a snow storm coming but I had a lot to do at home. I went….

~James had decided to text me Friday asking if I had plans. I said I was staying down here on LI. I then text him when I was on the train to say I changed my plans, was going to grab Chinese with my dad then going to a bar. I offered for him to join me but warned him I was in a terrible mood. He said to call when I was free. I called on the train… we had a great conversation for about 30minutes. It was emotional and we talked about feelings and we were honest and it sucked but was great. We finally got to the point where he decided we were both “too upset” and shouldn’t keep talking about it. I agreed, it wasn’t the time and was not going to have a good conclusion…we were both closing up quickly. We hung up on an okay note. He sent me a text an hour later telling me I let him down, I wasn’t there for him etc. I told him AGAIN I needed to be alone with my thoughts and wanted to go to the bar. He refused to come out so that was that. He then text me while I was at the bar asking if it was really over with us. I said I thought so because we wanted different things. He said “you keep saying that”. I said, “Do you want to be with me? Do you want to marry me one day?” His response, “How do I answer that after tonight I was at least trying. I hate texting” So I called him. He basically told me I let him down and he wouldn’t be able to put a ring on my finger after the way we argued again that night etc. I told him I wanted a ring up till July and he never even mentioned the word BOYFRIEND, how could I even believe he ever wanted to marry me?! We hung up saying, “This is goodbye forever then.” He then sent me another damn text a while later, “I tried. Thanks 4 the effort shows how much u really wanted this or cared.” I never responded.

I then proceeded to take many shots and drink at least 4-6 more beers. Anthony, Mike, another Mike and two girls I don’t enjoy came to join me and drink. The girls were whoring it up all over the two Mikes. I just laughed. The guys sent them home and we kept drinking, then we took an hour cab ride which included but was not limited to: Mike’s dad’s house, Kennedy Fried Chicken (ghetto KFC), picking up a large homeless (possibly homeless) man, and finally Mike’s house. We got to Mike’s and drank more, harassed the other Mike when he passed out first, smoked some joints, had the owners of the bar over, did coke (I didn’t), made insane videos including one of me jumping on the passed out Mike while Anthony held my hands and Mike made creepy commentary. Eventually passed out, blacked out or just forgot chunks of time… ended up with Mike in his bed and had great sex. Many times he literally began choking me to keep me from screaming his name so loud. We realized in the morning, we had left his door open so anyone could have been watching/listening anyway. They didn’t, they were passed out. We spent the morning as one big cuddle puddle. Dan brought us McDonald’s and Lisa came and picked me up about 11am. Mike (passed out one) woke up with his pants down for some unknown reason and left them that way for a good hour. The boys and I had a lot of fun but they are wild. I can’t do that every weekend. It was great being “one of the boys” yet seen as a girl still. They were rude, loud and honest but they also all gave me a ton of attention. It was great.

I went home and took a nap and hung out with my parents. I then took an early train back because of the weather.

Mike P. is a guy from here. We met quite a few times over the summer but just began really talking Monday or so. His parents live a few houses down and he lives a town or two over. We face book chatted for the week and began texting Friday. He has been texting me daily and I love it. We really enjoy talking consistently. I hope we hang out soon. He seems like a good guy, an honest guy, a real guy. Who knows till we really hang out but he is good so far.

Today was the kid’s birthday party. It went really well despite a foot and a half of snow.