almost old

I’m becoming increasingly more excited about going to graduate school. I begin the end of June as long as everything goes smoothly. I’m waiting for all the paperwork to reach my parent’s house before I submit my deposit. I want to make sure everything is in place. My financial aid applications are being reviewed and hopefully I’ll have answers within two weeks. I’m crossing my fingers and praying that most if not all is covered. I technically make very little money (not that I make much more off the books). College costs a ton but it’s a part of my life. I’ll deal with massive debt if it means happiness for me. I know I want to be back in a classroom to learn and to teach. I’m excited but nervous. I know I need to focus on school and put aside everything and everyone else.

I’ve been looking into different job opportunities. I love the family I’m with but I really don’t see the schedule working out. I’m trying to look at all my options with an open mind and again, putting aside my love for the kids I’m with. I just hope if I leave that I can still be a part of their lives. I cannot make a decision until I know my class schedule for the summer and an idea of my schedule for the fall. I cannot know my schedule until I have given my deposit. Once that part is done and I have a schedule, I’ll feel much better.

In other news, we are moving. Just a town over and to a bigger house but a different shape completely. I have seen the outside but not the inside. I hope I like it. I plan on being with them till the end of June at the very least. We should move before the end of May. I’ve been packing a little each day to make it easier. We need more boxes though.

Completely off topic and highly TMI about my boss. I noticed he has been jerking off much more lately. How do I know? When nobody is home except for him, the baby lotion is moved near the toilet (instead of on a shelf). Also, we have come home as he is seeming to rush out of the bathroom and he forgets to flush. In the toilet is a wadded up pile of tissues and he is drying his hands on the hand towel as if he just rushed to wash his hands. He also often has his pants unbuckled but it’s more noticeable that they are after these occurrences. I’m not Sherlock Holmes but there are not so many things he could be doing in the bathroom that involve baby lotion, privacy, washing hands, wadded tissues in the toilet and un-buckled pants. I use to see these “signs” about once a week or every other week. Lately it has been 2-3 times a week plus he has been out a lot more. I also noticed a change in the number of condoms again in his closet (I don’t know if I wrote about that before). Anyway, he and his wife do not use condoms yet they are suddenly in his possession and they change numbers frequently. I’m trying to decide if he is cheating and masturbating more or just masturbating more and maybe using condoms to help with mess control if he isn’t in the bathroom upstairs but rather in the guest room where he sleeps during the say.

My birthday is almost here. Nothing exciting is expected for my birthday. Just going to see James and my family. I work Sunday which is my actual birthday but I’m not a huge birthday party fan anyway. I do hope to receive a gift from my boss. She usually buys me something I like or gives me money for holidays and birthdays. I could use the money! I don’t expect anything from James but sweetness. My sister is paying my tuition deposit and one of my aunts already gave me cash because she is overseas visiting her husband. My other aunt that we are close to has some family things going on so she may forget completely.…Her mother was found dead in a chair last Friday. She spoke with her mother Thursday night and thought her mother sounded very confused. Her mother’s friend who is in his 80’s (as was the mother), helped her with email that night then left her in her computer chair. He found her Friday in the same chair with her email still open. He said she seemed confused considering she uses email quite often but he just thought she was tired and she’d be okay the next day. We are all happy she didn’t seem to suffer and happy he wasn’t there if she did have a stroke or heart attack. Nobody wanted her to suffer and she’s been having medical issues lately. Her daughters rather she went quick then was “saved” just to be in a coma or suffer severe damage to her brain or body. She would have been miserable if she was incapable of living alone anymore. This was truly the best way to go. She sent a lovely email to her three daughters that included a joke and a quick note ending with “I love you” just before she passed away.

The baby and I are off to story time. We need a walk and a bit of socialization today. The week is crawling!!