what i really meant to say

it’s become so much more difficult to exist. maybe once it was easy, and i can never shield my eyes from the radience of what is possible. but i still wonder if it truly is possible for me. anything can happen. but your limitations keep you from expanding. you become trapped in a world that no one else sees but you. it makes you want to stop breathing for a minute and halfway close your eyes. it makes you want to hold the entire world still while you try to remember why you keep inhaling and why your legs keep firm under you. your voice drops and your veins begin to tremble. you’re overwhlmed and lost at once in a sea made of blurred faces and sounds you can’t comprehend. it sways and swings until you start to hold faith that the end of it is near. soon it will all go dark and you won’t feel this sickness invading your senses. you won’t shake at the sound of his voice. you won’t leap at songs anymore. the earth, the ground, the very air will swallow you and lose you inside of it. no one will hear the tears and no one will hear the pounding of your skull on the pavemet.

keep pushing. if it hurts enough, it may just end one day.

ever,

~debbi