this fire is outta control

so i’m back in cinci and it FREAKIN figures. i’m down there for a year and the only one who shows any interest in me is DD and i didn’t want that. if i’d had a reason to fuggin stay, i would’ve. it’s just not fair. he’s seems nice and intelligent and i think i could’ve gotten along with him fine, but now i’m here, saying how i’ll visit. but i suppose it could be worse. i think visiting until i move there will be alright, if i keep in contact with people. i guess even if i don’t, i could just call him sometime for a random get together.

but it’s just so unfair. like i tell all of them, i don’t have many guys chasing me. jessica and steph and colleen and others do, but i don’t. people say that can’t be true but it fuggin is and i’m tired of guys not approaching me because they think i could possibly have a boy toy tucked away somewhere. fuck that! if you don’t have the balls to come to me and tell me how you feel, i don’t even want to deal with your sorry ass. ::shrug:: but i suppose late is better than never. and it did make my last morning there a bit more interesting. i thought DD would just come down, but i liked how i left.

so now what. i ran back here to my familiarity and comfort. i get to work for the next year (tomorrow starts my job hunting) and begin saving to finish my ankle tattoo, get one done on the back of my neck and get my own place. i have to talk to sean and see if that’d be something he’d be interested in and, if not, i either need to look for cheap non-disgusting single rooms or a roomate. uc may bring me someone. i’ll see.

but you know, even for all the lost opportunities and chances and decisions that i’m terrified i made wrong, i’m very optimistic about this upcoming year. i mean, i’m going to get a job asap and just work for the next five months, until school starts up again in september, which means saving mad cash and trying not to spend it on drugs.

::gasp:: i just found an old disk that has pictures of me and mr. me on it! score!

tschüss

~debbi