oh, my beautiful one

so very here. so very clean. i had to clean it up after i watched two of my new msf3k movies i got. then i remembered that gina’s party was today so i ran out to it only to find myself at the end of it. so me, gina, nick and amy all went to tgi friday’s for dinner. it took them (amy and nick) forever to get there bc they went back to nick’s house and on the way to the restaurant nick got pulled over for not having a front plate but got a ticket for not wearing his seatbelt. eh.

now i’m home and trying to think of what to do. i’m saving my last joint for later (when nick calls.. maybe when he calls.. he usually calls within a few days of promising but usually when i ask him to like i did last night and he says he will he doesn’t so i dunno). i don’t feel like reading anymore in rose madder. it’s kinda hard for me to read it bc it’s such a graphic wife-beater novel-but it’s good! and i like the thing with the picture. real mysterious. i like leaving off when rose is happy and not when norman is speaking bc then i don’t feel so bad afterwards. so much like her.

reading that is kinda creepy. i think it makes all women wonder what guys could end up doing to them and what they could end up taking bc it ends up they don’t have the nerve to say anything. i hope whoever (IF ever) i marry doesn’t hit me. i mean, i don’t even like it when matt shoves me around and he’s ‘just playing.’ but it sometimes hurts. and i don’t know what i’d do.

but the fact is, i’m still here. it’s nice, not cold or stuffy. just nice. i’m just here. in my black tank and blue and black stripey’s and barefoot. trying to think of what to do to pass the time. it’s 10. i have books i haven’t read (or reread in awhile), i have music, i have movies, i have this whole wide internet spread in front of me and the truth is that i’ll prolly log-off once i’m done with this entry. i could go to mana theatre, but i don’t want to see any new episodes right now.

it’s not just boredom, but something else pulling at me. i just don’t know what.

i’ll try to compose for a while. maybe that will entertain me.

~debbi