new record!

how much of a moron am i? why am i trying to make him understand? he doesn’t want that. i’m just someone to be close to. he doesn’t want me around for very long. am i so afraid of letting someone else know what’s really going on? what if he laughs at me? what if he thinks i’m starting to be too overbearing and i don’t shut up? what if he brings it up idly? would i be able to deal with-

so his unconscious answer is don’t tell me. well at least i know now. no more slips. no more tears. i’ll just sprint to the bathroom like usual.

was it really too much to hope for someone to be willing to listen to me for once or am i just selfish and stupid?

i think the latter.

~debbi