where did the time go

I was sitting down last night and thinking… I’ve been a mommy now for a year. I can’t believe it! Where did the time go? My little boy is 1 year old already?! It doesn’t seem like it should be possible.

One year ago on August 25th I was in the hospital giving birth to the most amazingly beautiful little boy who changed the meaning of my entire life. After 9 long months of waiting and feeling him move around in my belly and dealing with the growing anticipation I went to the hospital and was induced. I can still think back clearly to that moment, when he was born, the moment he started the cry, the moment they placed his in my arms…. I can see it in my mind. And now I look at him and I can’t believe how much he has grown, how big he is, how smart he is, how adorable he is. He walks and runs, he dances, he laughs, he smiles, the plays catch, he likes to be chased, he snuggles, he gives kisses, he points, he claps, he feeds himself…. he… is…. amazing!

I can’t imagine a better baby, I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect little boy. I’m the luckiest mommy in the world. I’m the proudest mommy in the world. I am so in love with my little 1 year old. I can’t imagine my life without him. I can’t imagine not getting to snuggle with him every day. I can’t imagine not seeing his smile or hearing his laugh. Chris and I were a happily married couple but we became a family because 1 year ago the most perfect little boy was born. He is my life… without a doubt in my mind.

Nicholai is my everything. He is my light in the dark, he gets me through the darkest days of this deployment. He keeps me going. He lets me know that Chris and I were definitely meant to be together so he and I could create this amazing little life. I don’t know what I was doing with my life, where exactly I was going but now I know…. I was meant to be his mommy. I was meant to fall in love with, protect, and nurture this tiny life. Chris and Nicholai are the reason that I am here on this Earth. Our souls were always meant to be interlaced together.

For a year now we have been our own little family and I couldn’t be more blessed.

So even though I’m late, and I know I still have to upload birthday pictures Happy 1st Birthday Nicholai. You are loved so much more then you will ever know or understand. Mommy and Daddy love you with all our hearts!

And just in case any of you were unsure if all these things I’m saying about my son are true…. watch him dance. If you are having a bad day this video will put a smile on your face. Nicholai, you are amazing, you are perfect, you are loved! Dance away baby!!