until I can be in your arms again

Today was the last day at the program where I work. I had fun with the kids even though we only had 8 of them for 5 long hours. Anthony and Michael cried because they didn’t want to leave… it was sad. I am going to miss those kids so much… that program too… we had an awesome staff and we all worked so well together. Its hard to find staff as awesome as all of us were together. I have been lucky the past 3 years to have been able to work with the people that I did. I am going to miss it a lot!

It got me thinking today about Rob and everything. I was talking to my sister about the future. Ally is having trouble with her boyfriend, but it is still frustrating to me sometimes. I listen to her complain about how they don’t get to spend that much time together because he is at work. She said "I only got to spend 4 hours with him today" and deep down it makes me angry because she is taking that time for granted. I would do anything for 4 hours with Rob. If March really is the time he gets r&r then I have a 9 month wait ahead of me. I know that I am going to make it… I know that it will be hard, but I will keep on fighting and pushing forward for Rob and me. I was reading a book today… its called Chicken Soup for the Military Wife’s Soul. I know that I shouldn’t be reading a book like that because it does make me upset and make me cry, but most of the stories are so uplifting and make me smile and cry happy tears as I think about how proud I am to say I am an Army girlfriend.

I thought back to the conversation that I had with Rob last night/early this morning. He always knows just what to say to make me feel strong again. He and I were talking about the crazy beach weekend that I had and he told me not to worry that he will soon be here with me again to make everything right. He is so great at comforting me when I need it. So let me be sentimental for a min right now… I dedicate this entry especially to my hero, my soldier, my everything.

Rob came into my life when I was on the verge of giving up. He gave me the strength to pick myself up, dust myself off and move forward. He made me realize that I am important and special and he gave me the ability to stand up for myself. Rob is my rock. He holds me up when I feel like I am falling and pushes me forward when I want to turn and run. He knows so much about me… he completes me in every way. I have never been so grateful in my life as I am now.

This deployment puts so much into perspective for me. It makes me realize just how precious seconds are. It makes me appreciate small things like a 24min 46sec phone call… or a letter in the mail that says "Free Mail" in the cornor where the stamp should be. Rob told me that he has all the letters that I sent him and he reads them over and over… so I am really excited about sending him the poem that I wrote. I let my friend from work read it and she started crying. I read it and I cry too… but it meant a lot that she read it and could feel the emotion that I poured into it.

I am going to try to be strong… no matter how many days, weeks, months go in between phone calls I know that Rob loves me and is thinking of me. I know that he and I will have the most perfect life together once he is home…. I know that even though I have my fears and doubts about how things will turn out that I trust Rob and I know that everything will work out in the end. So until I can be in his arms again… until I can fall asleep in his arms and wake up to him kissing me and saying good morning… until I can walk in our front door and know that soon he will be home too… until all those things happen that I will be strong and hold my own while he is away. This is the life I signed up for the moment I fell for him… this is the life that I was meant to live and no matter what happens in the future I was never more lucky then the day that Rob looked into my eyes, told me that he loved me and kissed me softly.