things going through my mind

Its been a while since I wrote last… slacker… yeah I know.

Work is getting old. I have 8 weeks left and they are going to be the longest 8 weeks ever. I like that I am bringing in money, but I never have time to do anything. By the time I get home I am so tired and I only have a couple hours before I have to go to bed. Its just tedious. I never have time to do housework that needs to be done. I am starting to really hate laundry and dishes… and my back has been hurting more and more so doing those things is even harder.

The little nudger is kicking more and more and harder and harder. It makes me smile… I can’t wait to see this little one. About 4 and a half months left… I can’t wait! My sister is really excited about my baby shower and so am I, though I really can’t wait to just go to Jersey and see my family. Oh… speaking of which…. the MIL im’d me on facebook a couple days ago and started talking to me about how I could feel the baby move. Then she said that she would go first and apologize. I was pissed… I already apologized to her…. she is just trying to make me look bad and I had to be mature about it and just apologize again so that Chris wouldn’t get angry with me. The relationship that he has with his mother… though I have no reason to be upset with it… is frustrating to me. It feels like she is in the right and I am in the wrong… always…. and that is frustrating to me. Every time this MIL situation comes up…. he looks at me like I have to bend backwards to fix it, like I am the one causing the problems. He wants the MIL and I to get along, and I don’t think that we will ever get along, I think we will tolerate each other. He wanted me to be nice and fix this no matter how I felt about it all… So I did. *sigh* But enough about that…

Chris and I got into a religious conversation not too long ago. I really do want to raise my/our children Wiccan… I have always wanted to since I found Wicca, but hubby won’t go for that. He wants to teach them about his religion too and I don’t mind that, I am open minded about all of that and I do believe in God… there is God in Wicca and I do believe in God, however, I don’t believe in Jesus at all and I don’t really want my children learning about that… but that might just be myself being uncomfortable with the reasoning behind Jesus. I know that Chris and I have very different backgrounds religiously and I am trying to come to terms with that as far as children are concerned. I have been studying my first degree for witch school… the more I read, the more I fall in love with Wicca and the more I want to teach it to my children. *sigh* I don’t know how this is going to work…..

And now that I have started talking about all this deep stuff… I think that I’m going to get to bed. Chis has a show tomorrow and I have to be up at 5:30am and who knows when I will be able to go to bed.

Halfway through this pregnancy on Sunday

photobucket … don’t be afraid, sometimes they come true! … music is my life

pregnancy

lovq

April 2, 2009

*pants* need…. more….. pictures!!! ha, i want to see how this baby bean is growing!!!! please? hah so much love! m.

leaden.wings

April 3, 2009

is there a way for you to teach your child (or children, if you are going to hav more) both and then have them choose later on in life? sorry about you being so tired all the time. *hug*

ryn: yay!!!! so excited! the situation with the MIL sounds awful, but i think you are handling it well. just remember that the bond your hubby has with his mom took all of his life, so even though he loves you so very much… she still has a strangle hold on him. and just remember… shes the one that brought him into this world for you to love, and for him to love you. (cont)

(continued) so thats something you can thank her for. :o) as for the wicca thing, your children will learn from you even if you tried not to teach them, and if it is something that makes your life so much better, it will only make theirs better as well. so like it or not, they will be wiccan too. (in my opinion, we all are… at heart. some people just dont recognize it.) much love, m.

MIL MIL MIL, you’re doing well. About Wicca and Christianity, I think it’s only fair for you to both have a go at it, but eventually when your child is old enough he/she will pick their own path regardless of their upbringing. It’ll be confusing and frustrating at times for both you and Chris aswell as the child, but its the right thing to do. Thats what my parents did, it was hard but eyeopening

Religion and kids is tough. The way I look at it – let them learn about everything, and when they are old enough they can decide what way they want to go. My parents didn’t do that, and it sucked.