really confused

i was scared for a bit when the site didn’t work. But everything seems fine now. *sigh of relief*

i have that "feeling" agian in the pit of my stomach. i am worried that i might have done something wrong last night. i had this really deep, emotional conversation with a guy last night. one of those conversations that makes your heart race. i mean i thought that even though it was slightly out of the blue, it was still a really good conversation. we talked for a little over an hour, but everything between us was clicking. it was as if we were sharing part of the same heart and mind. it was an amazing conversation. But then he stopped talking to me, and left the computer. i tried to see if he was still on so that i could tell him goodnight and i waited for a little while, but he never came back so i left.

then this afternoon he came on messenger. we had a short exchange of words, but then nothing. neither of us really talked and then he just signed off. i guess i am just confused. the conversation last night was so intense, but then nothing. i am afraid that i might have scared him off, or made him angry. Or maybe that worst thing possible it was all just a lie and he was just messing with my head, but i couldn’t even imaging that was the case. he just doesn’t seem like the type of guy to do that to someone. now i don’t know what to do. i think that i am going to write him an email. 

maybe this is all in my mind and i am reading too much into it, because i do that sometimes. . . well all the time. he is just a really important friend and i don’t want to lose his friendship, but i don’t know what to say about the conversation that we shared last night either.

i just needed to vent about that while i sat here and decided what i am going to write to him.  GGGRRRR….

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i haven’t really been on here. i just haven’t felt the need to write on here or maybe i just had nothing to say. either way i am going to start writing my poems again. just incase anyone was wondering.