only until the rain stops

Just in case you weren’t paying attention I read almost 200 pages since yesterady in my book. I’m addicted to Edward and Bella…. its sad. Anyway..

I am definitely too sensitive to nature… its raining here and I love the rain but at the same time the rain makes me sad. I don’t even know what I am sad about. I miss Rob so much, but that is the same as everyday so I don’t know why that would make me any more sad today. I am tired, and its that time of the month so my cramps are really getting to me and my back is killing me extra today. I haven’t even done anything. I went to work and had fun with Bryshawn, he will be 11 months on the 11th. He fell asleep on me, I was sitting in one of those big circle chairs and he crawled over to me and kept trying to climb into the chair with me. So I picked him up and he snuggled up to me and fell asleep. *sigh* He so makes me want to have children of my own…. and Rob and I were talking about that the other day. He was telling me how much he loves kids and that the kids over there are just adorable.

I sat there in the dark holding the baby, reading, napping, watching some tv. Then it came time for me to go and I drove home listening to the new used song "the worm and the bird" and when I got to my house it was empty. (which is nice for a change) I started doing some laundry, read another chapter in my book and then decided that it would be a good time to write. I haven’t done anything… so I don’t know where this mood is coming from.

I feel like crying, but not for any real reason in particular.

I keep thinking back to this one line in the book. Yeah I’m pathetic I know… I am so wrapped up in this book, but ever since I read it I can’t get it out of my mind. Edward says to Bella while they are laying in bed together and holding each other close "Sleep, my Bella. Dream happy dreams. You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours. Sleep, my only love."

When I read that I almost burst into tears…. if anyone ever said anything like that to me I surely would. I am such a sappy hopeless romantic I know, and these books really bring it out of me, but I just can’t help but imagine what that feeling must be like. To be so close to someone that you are so in love with. I just long for March to hurry up and get here. I miss his kisses so much. I dreamt of kissing him in the rain while I was napping today, and I can’t get that out of my mind. I vaguely remember how he kisses me. No one has ever kissed me the way that he does, so gentle and yearning, so full of love and passion. He kisses me slow and soft, always savoring every second just like I do. I miss that.

I miss having his arms around me. I miss watching him sleep. I miss the way that he could always make me feel better whenever I was sad or lonely or upset.

Ugh…. I sound hopeless right now. Gah I hate being a girl sometimes.

 

 

 

Summer book list

 

1. Chicken Soup for the Military Wife’s Soul… 307 pages

2. Twilight (book 1) by Stephenie Meyer… 498 pages

3. New Moon (book 2) by Stephenie Meyer… 567 pages

4. Eclipse (book 3) by Stephenie Meyer… 239 pages in

5. Echohawk by Lynda Durrant… 12 pages in

6. True Magick: A beginner’s guide by Amber K… 4 pages in