it doesn’t mean anything without you here with me

 

I have that song stuck in my head. Its called "Here With Me" by Plumb. I can’t get it out of my head, its like it is stuck on repeat and my mind can’t turn it off. Its not that its annoying persay… just that it isn’t helping the situation.

Well its Wednesday night finally…. 2 more days of training and then he will be on his way home the next day. I don’t know what it was but today felt easier for me. I woke up this morning, I didn’t sleep well but woke up rested none the less. I got up and called back the woman that called me. I have an interview Saturday at noon for a babysitting job that is 6:45-5 monday thru friday and I would make $300 a week. That may only be $6 an hour but she only has 1 little baby, a 7 month old boy, so it would be beyond simple and the extra income would help us out a lot considering that Christmas is right around the corner. I’m excited about it, I hope that I get the job. Atleast I have an interview, that is closer then I have been able to come to a job in about 3 months.

Candice and I talked on the phone for a couple hours in the afternoon. It helped pass the time.

I went to Jess’s to work out and her apartments gym. She couldn’t go yoga, but working out was just as good. I ran on the pedal bike for about 30min. It was kinda fun. I think that I will start doing that everyday. Jess and Julia are working out again tomorrow night and I think that I might join them again. Maybe in the morning I will go the the gym here, I have never been to it but I think that I can get 30min of cardio in before I take a shower. I need to be doing cardio for my cholesterol anyway and I have been seriously slacking on that. I need to pick Wii Fit back up. Maybe I will do that when I get home from work everyday for 30min.

Jess made me dinner tonight. As I sat there thinking back to what I ate…. I didn’t come up with much.

I think that in the past 5 days I have eaten about 4 meals. I know that Sunday, atleast I think it was Sunday, I didn’t eat anything.

Oops.

I think I might have shed a pound or two though.

Not the healthy way…. but hey… its a pound or two so I will take it.

Though when I did eat my stomach was not very happy with me, didn’t realize I had eaten so little in the past couple of days. I have a feeling that if Chris reads this he will be mad. But in all honesty I didn’t even notice that I wasn’t eating.

I promise to pay better attention to that when he deploys.

I called my Grammommy today. She was happy to hear from me. She is going to start sending Chris and I ornaments so we can start our own collection. I am so excited about it! She also wants a  list of things that Chris and I want for Christmas. Ha… hasn’t even really crossed my mind. I can think of about 3 things that I want. And I know that list requests are going to keep on coming. Sorry people…. I got nothing. I would like to be pregnant for Christmas… can you give me that?

I never made it to the DMV today. I am going to try to do that tomorrow too. I never did laundry either. Guess I will save that for tomorrow too. I have a feeling that I will be up at 9am again tomorrow. If I wake up earlier I will go work out and then take a long hot shower. Then out to the DMV and then home to clean and do laundry and prepare for ritual. I want to wait til the evening to perform ritual but I need to set it up and figure out what kind of ritual I want to do. Guess I will add that to the list of things to do.

Aurora is sitting here purring in my ear and play biting my arm….. strange adorable cat.

I think that I am going to participate in NoJoMo this year. Never done it before but I am getting back into writing everyday so I might as well. Good motivation to keep writing.

I told Chris and I missed his kisses and he said that I will be getting all the kisses I wanted and more when he got home. I asked him "Promise?" and he said, "Absolutely baby"

Put the hugest smile on my face. Goddess how I love that man.

I hope that tomorrow goes by quickly. Friday will be busy enough but I know that regardless I will be in a good mood Friday. Samhain always puts me in a great mood. I can’t believe that its a new year already… feels like I just did ritual with the group last Samhain and its Samhain again already. Though I must say that burning the negative things from my life in the cauldron did wonders for my life…. I am ready for the new year.

Saturday I have a feeling is going to drag. I have the interview and cleaning and helping Jess move stuff into storage… and waiting for the phone call that Chris is home! I am going to be giddy driving to pick him up. I’m so excited.

This week has gotten me thinking. Even though his deployment is going to suck, even though I am going to miss him terribly, even though there will plenty of tears…. I know that I will be ok. The beginning will suck, the first day will be horrible, the first week will be horrible, the first month w

ill be horrible, the first 3 months will be horrible but once I make it through all that…. I will be better…. I will be in school hopefully and there will be Samhain, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and then it will be almost February and that is when the 9 months will be up. It will be awful going through all those holidays without him, but it will also help the time fly by faster. I know that I will be ok. It will be hard and painful and lonely, but I will survive it and I will do it with as much grace as I can because I do love Chris more then anything and I will do it… I will do it for him. I will survive it for him, because I love him.

I don’t know where this sense of peace has come from…. but ever since I woke up this morning I have had this sense of calm wash over me. Maybe its because Samhain is so close, maybe its because we are halfway through the week and I will be able to see Chris soon, I have no idea… but its nice. Its relaxing.

And I need a little peace in my life right now.

Oh baby…. we are half way there….. I will see you soon…. I love you so much.

Until the end of time and beyond Chris, I will love you until the end of time and beyond.

 

 

… don’t be afraid, sometimes they come true! … music is my life