I only wished to become something beautiful

Well I didn’t accomplish much yesterday with the snow day from classes and work. I did get some cleaning done and washed my clothes. Still can’t find half of my stuff and it is really starting to piss me off. But there is nothing that I can do about it. I still have yet to get a phone, but that is mostly my fault now. My car was covered in snow and I had to practically beat it to death in order to just get into the damn thing. I was going to go to class and then decided that I didn’t feel like it. Bad me….

As for everything else it is still up in the air. The highlight of my yesterday was Chris bringing home sushi. So yeah… happy valentines day to me. Not like I am surprised with the way it turned out. At least I didn’t have school or work. It was nice to just relax for a bit, or not really. I still have so much else to do around the house and in my car and for school. Its such a mess. I guess that I should go to my chem class at 11. I have lab and a lab partner and I don’t want to leave Melissa without a partner just because I am lazy and sick and in a bad mood.

I don’t know what is happening this weekend. I don’t really want to think that far ahead so I guess that I won’t. I should really concentrate on school and everything that goes along with that and for some reason I just can’t get my mind to focus. I guess because my mind is busy thinking about other things….

I really want to get back into my drawing, but that too requires time that I don’t really have. I am waiting for the summer. The sun and the free time, no school… a break. I need a break from life right now, a vacation?! But I am not in store for one for a couple more months so I will just have to hold out. I know that I can make it…

I don’t know what has been up with my mood lately. Things have been going well I guess but I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something big is about to happen, something that I am not going to like. I have been trying to ignore it, shake it away, but it won’t leave. My dreams have been a mess of things that make no sense and usually when I have this feeling something happens. I am not looking forward to whatever this "thing" is going to be.