dad starting shit again

Well I knew it was too good to be true. . . I knew that it wouldn’t be much longer until my dad started treating me like shit again and picking stupid shit to argue about. I am sorry that I am happy now dad, I am sorry that I am dating someone new that you don’t approve of or wtf ever. It only took him 2 years to warm up to chris. . . now I have to start all over again from scratch with Geoff.

My dad is from down south and he has a completly different idea of people then most people that I know. He is very old fashioned and very "black."  Everything comes down to respect for him. . . and his house and whatnot. I don’t understand most of it cause my mom raised us for the most part so my mom, sis, other sis, brother and I are all on one side and my father is on the other.

He doesn’t like people going into the food closet to get a napkin unless the person asks him. . . even if I already said it was ok.

He doesn’t like people taking off their shoes. . . unless they ask him. . . even if he wasn’t home til 6 hours after the person came over. (what ever happened to being a good host and asking people to take off their shoes out of hospitality?)

He doesn’t like it when people don’t acknowledge his presence. . . even if he is the new person to enter the room.

He doesn’t like it when people eat "his" food and don’t say hi or something to him.

He doesn’t like it when people don’t understand his reasoning behind things when the only reason is "respect for him."

I’m sorry, but I have no respect for him. . . I don’t like him, I don’t love him. I have been down this road too many times and it always ends in a huge fight where I am getting hit or strangled or kicked or threatened in some kind of way. I really need the move the hell out of my house. . . I hate living here with my dad. Everything is great until he comes home and then everyone walks around on egg shells to attempt not to make him mad, which never works out. He makes everyone else’s life a living fucking nightmare, but we are all supposed to go along with it because he is the "man" of the house. I hate that chauvinistic bullshit. Just because he is the "black man" of the house everything has to go his way. Please don’t think of my a prejudice. . . my dad is black and my mom is white. . . but it is the black mentality that I don’t like. He feels the need to make up for all the years of slavery by demanding respect from everyone around him, and his idea of respect is so different from everyone else I know. He tells me things. . . ways that he wants everyone to act and I just stare blankly at him saying "that makes no sense at all."

I know this is going to keep happening as long as I live here and the more time I spend home the more I am going to have to worry about it happening. Over and over and over and over. I need to move out. After Christmas I am going to set a strict budget for myself and hopefully move out by the summer or before next Christmas anyway.

I know what is coming. . . a huge fight where the cops are going to get involved and it is going to do nothing but make my mum upset with everything. The last fight we had almost ended my parents marriage, in a way I wish that it would have. . . everyone was so much happier for those 6 months were we never saw him. All because he thought that a cop car wasn’t gold and I said that it was. After fighting about it for 5 min I told him that I didn’t care to fight about it anymore and he got mad. He kicked the chair that my little brother was sitting in so that it would hit my chair and when I told him not to bring David into it, he jumped over David and tried to strangle me. Fun times. . . and chris just stood there and watched. . . it was alli( my sis) who ran over and rammed my father into the wall so that I could get away. Oh the family bonding moments. . . wtf! I look forward to living here again. Yay. . . thats it, HA!

Maybe it is just me. . . maybe there is something that I am missing here. . . but if there is then most of the people that I know are missing the same thing. *SIGH*