boring life that is mine

I am finally done work for HCC!!!! I am free… now I just need to find out about my supposed summer job that I already have or find a real one! UGH!!! No break in the life of me. I have to give my mum the money back tomorrow but I get paid again on Friday. My co-workers want to go to Six Flags on July 9th. Something else to do in July… but I think it will be fun. Thank god that June is almost over!!! Hopefully my package comes tomorrow! I have to pay my cell phone tomorrow or else they are going to shut it off again! UGH! haha….

I wrote Rob another letter today. And I think that I will end up writing to him agian on the weekend. Heh… what else am I going to do? Sit around my house like I always do. I am going to work on a workout plan this weekend… with the help from the wonderful girls of SG I am incorporating some diet things and some exercise things. I have to by a scale so I can monitor my progress… the plan is to drop at least 10 pounds by the end of the summer.

Ok… for some reason I have been feeling really sick all the time. For the past, almost a month now, my stomach has been hurting and for the majority of the day I feel like I am going to be sick. Maybe it is just my nerves, but it is really starting to become a pain in my ass! I feel like I am falling away from the rest of the world. Besides the great friends that I have made over the internet I have no one to talk to. At first it was lonely, but I am starting to get used to it now. I am still hoping that Jaime moves somewhere close in New York because I don’t care if it is a 2 hour drive… I will still go and spend weekends with her. We can watch Army Wives together on Sunday and cry. Tomorrow I am going to wake up with nothing to do and no where to go. Depending on the weather I am thinking of driving to the shore by myself to just sit on the beach. Maybe I will drive to Grounds for Sculpture… that place always has this calming affect on me… I love it there. I can just sit somewhere quiet and read. If I get there early enough I can spend the whole day by myself and just think.

I don’t really mind all this alone time… it puts things into perspective for me. I am realizing things about myself. I still have a lot of growing up to do…. but I think that I am giving up drinking… atleast until Rob gets back. I haven’t smoked anything in months and I think that I am going to stop that to. I am going to be 23 years old this August and I still have yet to graduate from any college with anything and that has to change. I have to start taking control of my life and stop running around being stupid. I am coming up with a whole plan and if everything works out then life for Rob and me will be pretty much straight when he comes home.

I am still working out the kinks, but so far the plan looks good.

Oh… I finished the Chicken Soup for the Military Wive’s Soul. So good! That is one book down and atleast 14 more to go before the summer is over.