blah blah blah

Its been a while since I last wrote. I have been so busy with work. By the time I get home I am just so tired. And I screwed up the other day. I fell asleep while I was at work and R came home and saw me and J freaked and now R keeps joking about it. I have a feeling its going to be a while before I ever live it down. And its not like Niko was in danger of getting hurt, he was in his jumper so its not like he was free all over the floor. Though I totally understand why J was upset about it. I don’t blame her….. only myself. I feel terrible about it and R just keeps making me feel worse.

*sigh* Way to fuck up me…..

I am trying my best to make up to Niko for it since I feel so guilty about it. I have been playing with him extra and paying even more attention to him. UGH…. stupid guilt. 

I have 5 more days of work and then the much needed 2 week vacation. I am looking forward to just getting away from work and going back to Jersey. I hope to get more time to spend with Nina and Ashley and my family. I have a strange feeling that its going to be totally insane on Christmas Eve and Christmas. I don’t know who is expecting us when or where. I want to be at my rentals for Christmas Eve dinner and decorating the tree but I somehow have to fit going to the in-law rentals too. I have no idea how that is going to work. Its going to be interesting to say the least.

In other news I finally got my referral to go to the ob/gyn. My appointment is on the 8th of January so I have the next month about to worry and see what the hell is wrong with me and find out why TTC isn’t working. I’m nervous about it and I’m worried that they are going to find something and at the same time I worried that they aren’t going to find anything…. ugh so complicated. Candice tells me not to worry and that its going to be something simple. Guess I will just have to wait and see, but atleast I have an appointment so I am trying to help things along.  

… don’t be afraid, sometimes they come true! … music is my life