and the rant begins in 5…4…3…2…1…. NOW!!

All I want is to catch a break just once! It feels like everything is falling apart all at once! OMG!

My amp blew in my car so my rear speakers don’t work now! My check engine light is on, my temp light is on, my one tire is bad and my front brakes are screwed! Besides all the money I need to fix that I also have to make my back car payments AGAIN! They want in repo my car AGAIN! I have 5 days to pay for that… like $700 and then I have court on Monday or Wednesday… haha… that another $400! Besides that I haven’t really heard anything from my summer job yet and the school year is ending in about 3 weeks so I will be out of a job then!

I need to put gas in my car… I don’t have $5 for my birth control pills, not like I need them right now, but now I have my period (sorry guys) and my cramps are fucking kicking my ass! I have to go to the dentist since my cavity is getting huge now and I need new contacts because I have been wearing my 2 week disposables for about a year now!! UGH!!! I wanted to take summer classes, but I don’t think that is going to happen anymore. So that just puts me further behind in school! HAHAHAmotherfuckingHA!

And since the school year is ending at the school that I work at I have all these kids… the little kids that I love… wanting pictures of us since this is the last year that we will be at that program and I can’t even afford to get pictures developed! That is really frustrating!

I just feel like the world is crashing down around me and I must suck at life because I can’t seem to catch any of it right now. I know that I am just blowing things out of proportion right now… I’m sorry, but I just need to complain really quick because everyone else that I try to just vent to starts yelling at me about how it is my fault and I should just suck it up and deal. Well you know what… its not that easy.

I just wish that Rob was here so I could call him and he could tell me that everything would be ok…. or run into his arms and have him hold me tight and whisper in my ear how much he loves me. Any of that would push the world away for just that moment… and just that moment would be enough!

I feel like beating my head against a wall until it bleeds and then crying for days. *SIGH*

Ok… rant over…