a novel of an entry

 And again there has been a long absense since I last wrote here. I have been so busy the past week and so and it doesn’t look like it is going to let up any time soon.

Lets back track….

Thursday

My friend April texts me and tells me that she was thinking about coming down to NC for our friend Betsy’s wedding. Betsy was going to do the JOP thing like Chris and I did. I was excited about April coming because I hadn’t seen her since my wedding so about 3 months. Then she asks if she can stay with Chris and I… which was awesome and terrible. Awesome because I missed her, terrible because our house was a mess so that meant that I had to clean everything. It took hours but I finally got the place clean. April shows up about 8pm and we talk and catch up and then we go to practice since it was Thursday and Chris had band practice.

There is more band drama going on… but since there is already so much to write I am going to leave that for another entry….

Anyway, we all sit around and talk after band practice. April, Candice, Chris and I talk for a good 2 hours before we get back to the house.

Friday

Well Chris gets up for PT and then work like any other day. Meanwhile April and I got ready to go to Betsy’s wedding. We are texting each other back and forth because she is freaking since she is so nervous about getting married. The ended up going later then planned but luckily Chris was still able to come to the ceremony. Betsy and Luc were so cute and Betsy was so excited to meet for the first time, I thought she was going to run me down in the parking lot. Its was funny. After the JOP ceremony we all went out to Applebee’s to get lunch. It was nice to hang out with a big group like that. After lunch Betsy and Luc had stuff to do and I had a couple hours before I had to go babysit so April and I went to the mall. We went shopping and I bought some clothes and then we came back to the house and I got ready to leave since I had to babysit.

Babysitting went smooth. It was my first time watching them but the twins, Natasha and Lucy, were easy. They ate and I put them down for bed and though Lucy got a little upset and cried I went in and rocked her for a little while and she was out. Oliver played for a while and then he went to bed. I read him a story and though I had to go in and coax him a little he finally fell asleep. Julie and Rob came back about 5min later then they said they would so they gave me 5 extra dollars (it wasn’t a big deal to me but they insisted) and then Rob walked me out my car since there were guys hangin out on the street making a lot of noise.

I got back home and April, Chris and I all watched DOA and then went to bed.

Saturday

April left about noon. So Chris and I sat around the house together. I think we played some PS2 and watched TV but there had been so much running around the days before that it was nice to just sit around.

Sunday

Chris and I ran some errands. We got the pictures of Betsy and Luc’s ceremony developed and I put them together in the card that I got for them. We went out to eat at the Olive Garden that night. It was nice to spend some time together. We were gonna do a movie but I knew that moneywise October was going to be a hard month for us so I figured we could just sit at home and watch something. I think that was when we watched Gangs of New York. (sad movie)

Monday

Chris let me us the car since Betsy and I were going to go over Julia’s and finally meet Kierstyn for the first time. It took forever for me to find Betsy’s hotel but after driving for almost an hour I found it and we made our way to Julia’s. It was awesome to hang out with them and I got to hold Kierstyn…. so cute. Once my internet connection stops running so slow I will upload some pics to photobucket but with everything being so slow I’m not even going to try now. Julia had work so Betsy and I went to the mall and walked around and got some stuff for Luc. Then we went to Target to look for stuff for her apartment since she is moving to NC this December. (Can’t wait!!!!)  Then Luc called and said that he was done work so I took her back to her hotel and said goodbye since she was flying out Tuesday.

I went back to pick Chris up and we sat around because Chris was really tired.

Tuesday

Chris had work so I sat around and did some workouts. Gah high cholesterol!

Chris had practice so I made a super fast dinner that turned out pretty good for throwing random stuff together and calling it dinner. I had a headache and that was when Chris was talking to his mother. The in-laws are coming down to stay for the weekend. I don’t know what I am going to do with myself…. I am still not entirely comfortable around them yet though that may be because I still don’t know them all that well in which case I need to spend more time with them in order to become more comfortable but it all seems so daunting….. I guess I will just have to wait and see how that one goes.

Practice was interesting. It went longer then normal since now there are gigs on the horizon which I look forward to but don’t at the same time since band drama is building more and more all the time. (But like I said before…. band is for another entry) But practice was ok… I read 175 pages in my book "The Woods Are Dark" and sat around with my headache. (which I still have now… a

nd now is Thursday… hurray)

Wednesday

Chris had work. He started out processing his unit. I still don’t know if this move is going to be a good or bad one for us. I guess we will see what happens on Monday when he starts at his battalion.

While he was at work and the house was quiet I did a spell. It was nice to just sit there and do a spell and when I started I could hear thunder off in the distance and by the time I got to the spell it was pouring. A sign that the spell that I was doing was working. I let the candle burn for a while before I snuffed it out and as it burned down some the sun came back out. It was powerful to watch and even more powerful to feel. I know that I need to do more spells and read up more on Wicca, but I am happy with the way that things are progressing as far as my magick is concerned. I wish that I could get supplies for this Samhain and do a ritual but so far it is looking like we won’t be able to afford to. I will just have to make do with what I have. I am hoping that I can find a broom but I may have to give in and buy one… that is one thing that I will NOT do without again this year. That and a cauldron, but they are so expensive. I will just have to wait and see with that one.

He got home from work and sat on the couch and played his PSP for a while. He made dinner and it was pretty yummy and then we sat around some more. He did some internet stuff and I got ready for bed. I don’t know what has been going on with us… it seems that we drift apart in bed more and more… him on his side and me on mine. I lay awake for a long time just thinking. Maybe its just me…. I don’t know. Its been a while since we had sex and sometimes I get the feeling like he just isn’t interested in me or maybe I am getting fat or something… I don’t know. He falls asleep so fast so I just lay there at night and think, maybe I shouldn’t over think everything. Maybe it is just more worrying and making things into signs that aren’t really meant to be signs and are just me over thinking and over worrying like I have a tendency to do. I just miss those nights that we make love and hold each other close afterward and fall asleep together but it doesn’t seem like he misses those… the other night we started getting into it and he and I were kissing pretty heavy but then he kinda just shut down and then turned his head and went to sleep and that flashed warning lights in my head but I tried to turn then off and just go to sleep thinking that it wouldn’t be the same the next night but again and then again tonight…. nothing. Maybe I am just being too needy. (boy do I need to get a handle on my sex drive… heh… TMI… I’m sorry, but I don’t care)

Thursday (today)

Chris got up early this morning and left at 7:30 which was weird to me since he didn’t have work til 9 I thought so he shouldn’t have left until 8:30. He didn’t say anything to me about it when he came to get me for his luncheon so I figured I wouldn’t say anything about it. Its on my mind though…. *sigh*

He finished out processing his unit so he was in limbo in the Army. Heh… but the luncheon was nice. There were a lot of people from his shop there. I got to pin on his award and his NCO said a little speech and so did Chris. Again, I have pictures but this slow internet is driving me nuts! It was the first award that I got to pin on him. It was nice. And now he and I are on a journey to the unknown of what is going to happen now.

There is so much to do before his parents get here…. but I have spent the last hour sitting here typing this up. I have been wanting to write all this for so long now and I couldn’t wait anymore.

There is practice again tonight and more drama as far as the band is concerned. I have a feeling that things are going to get worse before then get better and Candice is getting fed up with it all and I don’t blame her. Her husband is going nuts and walking over all the wrong people to get where he wants to be…. (ugh… band drama…. another entry….) I’m hoping practice doesn’t go for a year tonight but I have a feeling that practice is going to get longer and longer the closer they get to the show they are supposed to play.

Who knows what is going to happen tonight. I am starting to not like going to bed because all I do is lay there waiting for sleep to come and listening to Chris snore away softly as I wonder what I can do to make sleep come find me faster. And the in-laws come tomorrow…. I should really go and start cleaning. The upstairs neighbor is driving me nuts with all her stomping around up there! UGH! I really should go complain about her!

I am still in shock that it is October already! There are good and bad things coming up for me. I am still dealing with what happened so long ago and I can’t remember the last time that I let it affect me this much already, but I will not let it get me down like it usually does. It will come and go and I will be fine like I always am.

Ok… now I am just rambling for the sake of writing something down…. I really need to make a list for shopping and start cleaning and making a list of everything that needs to be done…. I am just not in the mood to clean… I am not really in the mood to do anything. Bleh…..

Stomp… stomp… stomp… pause………. stomp… stomp… stomp… stomp… thump… THUMP… stomp….

Yeah… that is what my upstairs neighbor sounds like right now… maybe I should go clean and put on a CD and turn the bass all the way up and drown her out to keep myself from going up there and knocking on her door and telling her that I’m sorry that she is fat but could she try to keep her mammoth footsteps to a minimum because I am about to lose my mind.

Oh… and then next week John, Chris’s brother but not really, is coming to stay for the weekend….

Atleast after all of this the apartment will be super clean.

So… what CD should I listen to? I must

drown out the neighbor because each stomp grates on my already thin patience!

 

 

… don’t be afraid, sometimes they come true! … music is my life