Later on today

     It’s 1:30 am, and I’m watching "When Harry Met Sally" for the first time ever. I never even caught the middle or end of it before.  Sitting here wondering if I will find that one person that I can spend a good amount of time with without regret. In order for that to happen, I have to leave my mother’s house for good. That goes for the spirituality factor because she will be extremely angry with me if she knew I had the desire to be with other people than herself. She becomes very jealous. I’m not going to let my life now get me down. No hurt feelings of any kind is going to get me off track.

     Now I’m thinking about calling Border’s tomorrow to schedule an interview. This way I can save up a lot of money, so I can go at a moments notice. I don’t know how bad the arguments going to be when I try to leave. It could mean a sort of excommunication from my family. Even though I’m not close with my family, I want to be able to feel a connection. Is it wrong not to feel an extremely strong connection with my family. It’s more like we are shut together just because of the genes that we share. I already know that I’m an outsider in my family because they might think that I’m stuck up. The truth is that I’m scared of them. That’s why I’m afraid to go to family functions. The earliest feelings I had was that I’m an embarrassment and someone not to be taken seriously. The only people that I’m "myself" around are my friends, but my mom wants me to cut contact with them. Now I feel left behind somewhat.

—Peace, Love, and Furi Kuri!