28 Letters – Day Four: Sibling

Dear David,

Ever since I was a little thing, I have been told that when mom and dad told you you would be getting a little brother or sister, you said, "I order a sister." They didn’t find out the sex of either one of us until we were born, and apparently you were so insistant I be a girl that mom was a little nervous about how you would react if they didn’t get your order right.

Luckily, everybody won.

You are only 3 and a half years older than me, but that was enough to make us never share a school once I began 2nd grade. You moved away to college the summer before my freshman year of high school, but many times over the next four years I heard, "David’s little sister, huh?" from teachers and I was never sure if that was good or bad. But I was always proud to have that title.

When we were little we had a secret knock, we played hours of video games (when you let me), invented the infamous "Cranberry Milkshake" that was all sorts of wrong, and whipped up tons of mashed potatoes because we never could get the flake-to-milk ratio right the first time. You ran into a brick wall once on your bike to avoid hitting me, and you broke your nose because of it. You could make fun of me, but if your friends chimed in you always got defensive. You were everything I could have wanted in a big brother.

When you were in 8th grade you met Naseem. I was only 10 or 11, but I remember being a little jealous because she took you away a lot. You dated her all through high school, and you both went away to college together. I remember you calling me one day during my junior year of high school and asked me in that sibling way we all know, "Can you keep a secret?" I knew it would be a good one – you proposed to Naseem that night and I was getting a sister-in-law! Come to think of it, I should also be writing a letter to her, since she has been in my life as a sister-figure for more than half of my life, but it’s late, and quite frankly I’m tired.

But I digress.

You are the one person I can talk to about mom and dad and know you understand. You heard me complain about Bill, and voice my concerns for years. You were never around, but I know you believed me when I told you something was off… when he killed himself, and I was sitting in the driveway that night at 11PM, hugging mom (who still had Bill’s blood on her legs and hands, an image I can’t forget) I wanted you to be there… moments like that made me miss my big brother because I felt so helpless. When mom got the call that Uncle Joe had been shot and killed, I was also alone with her … I wanted to get you on the phone immediately. I always want you around when I need support supporting our parents. I think that’s a bonus of having a sibling – we are never alone.

A year and a half ago, while I was visiting you and Naseem at your apartment in Philly, you gave me that look and again said, "Can you keep a secret?" I was finally going to be an aunt!!! I had been asking for a little bambino for years, and I was the first person you and Naseem told. Chase is amazing, and I have loved seeing you become a poppa… you have a beautiful family, and I am so proud of you.

Thanks for all the secrets, and the laughs, and even the tough love. You are one of my best friends, and I’m very happy you got what you ordered 🙂

Becca