heart beat

pain.

a stabbing…
almost as if you can’t breathe.
fumbling around and lost
… with no direction..
.. in particular.
spinning so long as I’m winning…
.. winning so long as I’m sinning..
 
..sinning so long as they’d let me…
falling with no need for catching…
 
I was sitting on my bed writing small notes to myself
when I looked up and saw you walking through my door.
 
no telling what those notes were ever about…
or anything before that for that matter…
 
.. for after then.. there was only you.
 
You.
The small notes written and pressed into the very soul of me.
 
small finger prints…
.. small impressions…
the tiniest of indentions…
.. making the biggest fool of me.
giving me just what .. i need..
 
They were you.
 
Steady steady.. bringing out the best in me.
 
Did you ever hear me when i told you?
were you actually listening to me?
 
if you were then you would know
the very lightness in you step is enough to light
all the paths of darkness I’d ever come to know in this life.
 
pain.
a stabbing…
almost as if you can’t breathe.
fumbling around and lost
… with no direction..
.. in particular.
spinning so long as I’m winning…
.. winning so long as I’m sinning..
 
..sinning so long as they’d let me…
falling with no need for catching…..
flailing through.. begging Jesus to save me..
 
….. if ever my heart did attempt to beat
it knew nothing of life till it was in her keep.