terror

 You know what I find most disheartening? There are a million web pages, articles, apps, books, etc for the expecting mother. What is there for the other half of the equation? So far I have found one decent book (She’s having a baby, I’m having a meltdown) and roughly 0 web pages for the expecting father. You know maybe I am just jealous or maybe the more I think about this hole being a parent thing the more I freak out. Mostly because the day I found out I was sitting there thinking if this relationship was really what I wanted…

I seem to have lost so much of myself, of who I am, being in this relationship. However, I guess that is always the way I am. I begin to sacrifice little things and habits and patterns and slowly I just take on all of those things from whoever I am with, more reason why I suck at being in relationships. Now, here I am about to assist in bringing a young life into the world and I am not even sure about my world…

I guess I am kind of a jerk in that regard huh? Though, it is not like this was a planned event. It was an accident. I am not going to say a mistake because I want to be a father… I just had not planned on doing so quickly. Yet, here we are. What do I do? I love her though I am not sure we are supposed to be together. I love the thought of being a parent though I am terrified that I am going to suck at it…

~Sky~

T -35 weeks (estimated)