Kinda Hungover…
Yesterday was such a bad day emotionally for me. I was crying all day and to make things worse last night- I changed my mind about going over my bf’s house and decided to go for it. I really missed him and didnt see him for a week- because we’ve been both sick. He came over my house… and then tells me Im spending the night because he was planning on drinking and wouldnt be able to drive me back. I told him I couldn’t spend the night because the next day (today) is my mom’s B-day. Well it ended with him going back home without me because of the car situation and me being totally upset and had a crying fit.
In doing so and being pissed I sent him a text saying that it’s fucked up ud rather drink with ur friends and I didn’t know about the whole situation ahead of time and blah blah blah… He told me I had to calm down and he’d take me out Sunday and make it up to me… Well I apologized… Cuz I knew I was being over emotional yesterday as it was and I get paranoid about certain things. All week I’ve been feeling that eventually he’ll get bored of me and he does’nt love me and so therefore I’ve been talking to Cherie about it all. She agrees I’m just being paranoid about it.
When he came over for that 15 min it was the only good thing that happened to me that day and I didn’t wanna let him go. While holding eachother I started crying after knowing I wouldn’t be hanging out with him… He kept telling me how much he loves me and not to think the way I am about him because it’s not true.
So then after he left, I texted my friend Gil to see what he was up to… He knew I’ve been upset and invited me over, so he picked me up and we hung out at his house. I brought vodka and we drank and played beer pong while his friends were comming over and stuff. Well, I didnt eat dinner and I drank alot so I was in the bathroom they said for a good 2 hours puking. HAHA! Well, I woke up with a headache and was wobbily… But I took headache stuff and worked like a charm. I feel much better now and on top of it all I lost a pound and a half! That works for me!
Though I know it wont stay off but it helps being a lil thinner for a day. This weekend I wont be doing calories because of my mom’s B-day and we’re going out to eat- On the Border! I love the place. Luckily she has a giftcard for the place, so I don’t feel as awkward not paying for her meal. I have no money cuz I’ve been out of work so she understands that. As it is- my cousin’s B-day is Monday and I’ll be giving her an IOU. I hate having to do that, but not much else I can do about it.