Saw my Therapist, MED ADVICE PLZ?

So I saw my therapist and the psychiatrist this morning. I was so excited to go out in the morning to see them. It was so neat to be going out in the morning by myself to do something for myself. It felt so weird but so good. Might need to do that more often. I have come to the conclusion that I DO need to put myself first more. It IS true that if you don’t take care of yourself you can’t take care of others. I always believed it was true, for everyone else of course but not for me. Now I know it is true as I am absolutely worn out after 5 years of not doing anything for me.

The psychiatrist told me quote "Wow, you’re very desciplined". That was after I described how my mind works. For example,  I told her about my mood swings and how I feel the need to make everythign in order, before I can eat a rice cake. Like I will start and tell myself that I need to first vacuum then I will finish that and notice how the floor is a bit dirty so I will do that, then notice the washroom is a bit untidy so I will clean that and then notice, etc and the list goes on. It takes awhile to be able to eat and sometimes I feel so worn out I get irritable but then tell myself I can eat if I want to. That self talk just empowers me to go that muc further with the cleaning, knowing that I can eat eventually, so I push myself harder. When I am finally done, I don’t feel the need to eat anymore. That’s what she was talking about with my discipline. So ya, it’s exhausting and also part of my OCD, but that’s how my mind works with everything 24/7. I never find peace.

She recomended me going on a newer SSRI called Cipralex (escitalopram). It’s an antidepressent and she told me to take 10 mg a day to start and that it would take a couple weeks to work. I am however, still nursing my almost 2 year old son. I don’t nurse that often, just at nap time, and bedtime and then sometimes a couple times at night. He usually doesn’t nurse longer than 5 mins at a time. But that is making it hard to decide whether to actually take the meds or not. I have them here but haven’t taken them yet. The psychiatrist said that they can’t say for sure about the effects as there have been no studys but that it’s mostly worrisome if ur prego like when their organs are developing. I am thinking I am probably safe but not sure. I don’t want to stop nursing as right now for me this is the easiest way to get my son to sleep. I don’t have the patience to wean right now. Anyone have any ideas on whether it’s safe to take or not??????????????  I really kind of want to take it as the list that is in the pamphlet on what the drug will improve is everything that I am having a problem with. It sounds like it would be great. Oh and there is no weight gain side effect (wouldn’t take it if there was). It has the opposite side effect of possible loss of appetite. WOuldn’t that be grand. LOL.

Anyways the drug says I may notice an improvement in:

• You’re feeling less sad
• You’re eating habits are more "normal"
• You’re sleeping better
• You’re feeling less tired
• You’re less "on edge" or irritable
• You’re feeling less guilty and or worthless
• You’re feeling less anxious
• Your thougths are less preoccupied with worry.
• You’re spending less time in repetitive behavior and/or thoughts
• You notice an improvement in your ability to concentrate
• You’re once again enjoying activities that you used to.

To me that sounds like a god send as all those are areas I am having difficulties in. It’s almost as if the drug were made just for me. LOL.  Anyways, if you have any advice on whether I should take it or not while nursing my son please leave me a message. Thanks everyone..Have a great day.