Clarification

Just wanted to clarify some things for the readers of my diary. My binge night is dumb. And of course I know how dangerous it is to starve and binge. It’s all part of the Eating Disorder. People who don’t have a clue or an understanding of what an Eating Disorder is should leave rude comments behind until they maybe read up a bit about how an ED affects someone. It’s not so easy to just say ok I will not starve. If it were, there wouldn’t even be such a thing as an Eating Disorder. Man, I hate people who are so dumb and lack knowledge and then think they can preach to people they know nothing about…DUMB PEOPLE, It so irritates me.

I also plan to try and recover which is why I will stop seeing the doctor at the ED clinic. Seeing him makes me feel obliged to starve more, lose more. I know it doesn’t make sense but eating disorders don’t necessarily follow logic. DUH>>>>That’s just my thinking and how it works and I think I will have a better chance of recovery if I don’t have to see him because then I will allow myself to eat more. I will still be seeing my therapist, whom I really like and find really helpful. So it’s not like I am pulling myself out of treatment, just one part of it, the part that is pushing me further down the road to self destruction. So if you think that’s stupid for me to do, then maybe you need to open your mind a bit and not be so judgemental. For me, this will probably help me to recover, not make me worse.

Is it better for me to continue seeing a doctor to monitor my weight and feel pressured to lose more and weigh less or to stop seeing him and gradually eat more, gain more and eventually get healthy? I think the latter makes sense to me

For me the doctor does nothing but push me further into self starvation…Man that stupid random noter irritates me. Why can;t you just leave your name….Too scared of my reaction or what? ARGH>..But you can’t ruin my day. It’s a beautiful day out today, sunny, I am well rested and feel great…Nobody can crush me today….Or so I hope, lol….Right now my spirits are high…I feel great.