I am back for a bit

Wow…looks like it’s been over a year since I’ve been back here.  Much has happened, and most of it not good.

I quit my job with my sister and brother-in-law to go into insurance sales full-time.  That lasted for about four months, two agencies, and not much money. (This may sound somewhat ironic later).

So, I thought I should try to get back into higher education, but not in my home state yet (the only annuity I sold was to myself, and in the process I found I could take early retirement, so I did, but I was barred from state employment for six months–that period ended July 1).  This sounds like what I went through last summer.  I sent around 100 applications.  Got 3-4 phone/skype interviews and three in-person interviews.  I am still waiting on the results of an interview I had last week so I am somewhat in limbo.

In the meantime, I took an overnight job at a local Wal-Mart.  I am officially an “overnight stocker,” but what I really do is zone, or face the shelves, along with cleaning up returns and damage claims.  You would not believe what people leave on the shelves for associates to return to their proper places.  This job was going ok until one night I was told that I had been zoning entire sections the wrong way and if I did not fix them that night I would be fired.  I ended up working over my lunch break to fix those mistakes, but I had done it this way for over a month and no one said anything about it.  From that night on this job has been one of complete distaste to me.  I’m not sure I’ve disliked a job this much in my life, and I am ready to move on from it.

No change on the homefront except for the worst.  With my schedule the way it is, my sleeping is so way off that it is hard for me to function during the day, which frustrates everyone in my house.  My issue with physical affection I talked about in an earlier entry has gotten even that much worse.  I now question anyone and everyone’s attempt to get close to me.  The suicidal thoughts become more and more prevalent the longer I am in this employment and emotional rut.  From the applications I sent out over the past few months, I get anywhere from 1-4 rejection e-mails per day.  Ironically, insurance agencies want to interview me, but I have plenty of reservations about working in insurance again.  The main problem is that this is the only other thing I know how to do.  The doors to teaching were slammed shut a couple of weeks ago.  I may be able to get back into working in admissions and recruiting, but that doesn’t even look promising.  I had even considered management with Wal-Mart, but I failed the management test twice.  Seems like all I’m good for at Wal-Mart is to clean up other people’s messes.