A little about me.
- I am an unemployed higher education professional. I have been both a teacher and administrator and am trying to get back into administration. The contract for my previous teaching position was not renewed simply because I was not the right person for the job. I understand that and bear no ill will to my former supervisor, but it has been much more difficult finding a job than I thought it would be.
- I am on my second marriage, but it really has not been a marriage for a long time. I bear most of the responsibility for this mainly because I refuse to argue with her, which is exactly what she wants me to do. She also thinks I am a moron…at least that’s how she talks to me when she is angry. She reminds me a great deal of my overbearing late stepfather. Many of the things she says to me and the way she says them sound exactly like he would’ve said to a 13 year old version of me. We’ve not been intimate for at least three years. She brought five children to this marriage. I brought two. Her youngest (21) still lives with us, and her next to youngest (29) just moved back in with us along with her three kids (9, 6, and 5). They have managed to live with us at least every summer for the past 7 years.
- Yes…I’ve been with other women. I dated another woman last year for about 4 months, but we both cut it off. I regret that because I still love her, but she is better off without me. I am often vexed with the question–is it possible to not like women but not hate them either? I would entertain any thoughts that readers have about this.
- I suffer from depression and anxiety. I take medication for both and I also see a therapist. Before I was told about my contract situation, I was fighting off serious depression and suicidal thoughts. I don’t get them as much now, but there are times when I am so despondent I can’t think of another way out of it.