love of my life locked up

Well I got on here the other night and changed around my front page. I hadn’t updated that in ages. I see I havent wrote in here for a while as well.

Well I suppose I can tell you whats going on with Alex since he wont be back for at least a year and 4 months….remember when I wrote an entry about Nov. 19th changed my life. Yeah well the reason it changed my life was cuz Alex was arrested. VERY LONG STORY!!!

I guess I better start at the beginning. When I first met Alex he told me he had been arrested and sat in Jail for 30 days and was on probation but he was done with probation already. *Reason he was in jail for 30 days was cuz he had been dating this girl and he broke up with her and she got pissed and claimed he raped her but when they went to court she then admitted that he didnt but since she was under-age they still had to charge him with it cuz he was 19. bunch of BULLSHIT if you ask me but whatever* So he told me all this and we moved on from it. Well I had to go to Illinois Nov. 19th for my great grandma’s 90th bday party. Well on the way down there Alex and I were talking on the phone and txting. Well at one point Alex called me and told me he hit a deer driving to his moms house and fucked the car up pretty good…told me hed call me back in a little while cuz a county sherrif had just pulled up. Well I didnt hear anything back from him after that. I got to my grandmas house around 9pm, I txtd him to let him know I was there….didnt hear anything ( NOT like him at all…even if hes busy he will txt and say k busy or something like that). Well when I woke up the next morning I still hadnt heard anything from him so I started to get worried so I txtd his mom. She txtd me back right away and said yes she knew where he was and that he loved me and hed explain in a few days…i was like WTF is going on…and shes like can you call me. So I called her and she told me he had been arrested…supposedly there had been an a warrent out for his arrest. He was sent to a jail about 50 miles away from where we live…he sat there for a week and half. then he was transferred to the county jail where his probation is from. I found out from him he was still on probation and he had violated it by not talking to his PO for 9 months (he couldnt get ahold of him and he left a few msgs but never heard back from his PO so he gave up), I guess another thing he was supppose to do while on probation was go through some classes for what he was charged for…which he went to except 3 classes cuz he had no way of getting there. Well he sat at that county jail for 4 days and then they transferred him to the town overs county jail cuz they were packed at the one he was suppose to sit at. his PO finally came to talk to him and told him he was taking him to court for not coming to see him. He had court on Jan. 20th and they revoked his probation and the judge was recommending 10 years in prison for this…he was suppose to go to court again for the sentencing but he appealed the decision from the first judge. took 3 weeks to find out that they denied his appeal. He had court on Feb. 28th and they sentenced him for 4 years. 1 year and 9 months sitting in prison and the rest on parole. since by the time this was decided he had already sat 3 months they decided he only had to sit a year and 4 months in prison. if he does classes in there (the ones he was suppose to do out here) they would reduce the sentence to just a year in prison. They transferred him to the first prison he has to be in on 3-15-2011. So hes been gone almost 2 weeks already.

Its been pretty hard through all of this but it has showed me alot as well. It has showed me that hes obviously “the one” because I would not put up with this shit if I didnt love him with all my heart. He still cant believe I’ve stayed with him this whole time. Hes so worried I’m going to leave him. He knows I have no reason to really stay except that I love him and want to be with him and he has told me many times if I do leave him he will understand cuz its alot to deal with. Which is sooooo true…it really is a lot to deal with. I have never dated someone that has been in this type of situation before. Its very stressful. I constantly worry about him cuz of the fact that we dont talk everyday anymore. While he was in jail he could call me as much as he wanted…so we talked like 4-5 times a day, 20 mins at a time. Now that he is gone he can only call once a week for 15 mins….IT SUCKS!!! I’m so worried someones gonna push him to the last breaking point and he just flips and does something stupid. He’s suppose to be sending me papers to fill out so I can come see him in a few weeks. I got use to visiting him twice a week and I havent seen him in almost 2 weeks…it sucks ALOT. I honestly dont know how I do it sometimes….I mean I love the guy to death and any time I think about my life without him my heart just kills me but the stress is getting really bad and I never sleep anymore. When I do sleep I have really bad dreams…last night was the worst. It was about him never coming back…I know they say he will be out in a year and 4 months (for now unless he does the classes then just a year) but I have this gut feeling they are gonna try and fuck him for life…gahhh I’m already having these thoughts and dream and he hasnt even been gone a month yet…WTF! I know I need to just calm down and not think about it but I can’t help it…thats all I do is think about him.

Thank god I’m going to Michigan in April for 4 days. Get away for a few days with a really close friend and just have a good time and stress- free vacation. IM GOING CRAZY!! I know it’ll get better soon but I just hate this situation right now. I can only imagine how he’s taking it…he told me on Monday when he called that he was doing pretty good with it…so thats good but we will see what he says on Monday when he calls me again. I hope he stays the same while hes in there and when he gets out hes the same…i know he will be a little different cuz of all the BS hes had to go through…i understand that but I hope he kind of the same…the same man I fell in love with. Just wish this year was over with so I can have him back…I miss him sooooo much!

Well it feels good to get that off my chest and to put it down somewhere. This time next year I’ll come back and look at it and we will see what has happened by then…who knows he might be out by then!! THAT WOULD BE AMAZING! 🙂