falling hard! :)

OMG….things are great with Alex! I went to his dads side of the family party last night! had an amazing time! there was a parade in their town and then we had a huge cook-out and just drank all afternoon and night! it was a lot of fun and just being able to spend time with him around his family was great! it really shows me that he doesnt act differently just around me. he acted just the same while we were around his family.

once he had a few beers he came up to me and was like “we need to talk”. and i was like “ok…whats wrong” and hes like “i know weve only been dating almost 2 weeks but i have something to tell you.” he paused and chugged like half his beer and then looked at me…by this time i was starting to flip out cuz i really didnt know what he was going to say to me….he was like “I’ve fallen in love with you…I’m completely in love with you and before you say anything I just want to say that just because I said it doesnt mean you have to and it also doesnt mean I want to speed things up because I don’t want to loose you so however long it takes for us to actually say it all the time, I’m willing to wait.” ok so by this time im like completely speechless and finally i was like ” well to be honest I’ve been wanted to tell you all day that I think I’m falling for you as well but with that said I don’t want to say it all the time just yet, I mean weve only been dating 2 weeks and I’m afraid if we do start saying it we might regret it and pull away later down the road. and to be honest I don’t want that to happen at all. Your the best thing in my life right now” he just smiled and was like “wow I didn’t think you would actually fall for me but I’m completely happy that you have because baby I’m madly in love with you and you make me so happy”

and then his uncle came and interrupted everything asking what we were talking about and so Alex was like nothing. so then we went back drinking with everyone else. We left there probably around 11. he talked me into staying with him so I stayed at his place. nothing happened tho…we just cuddled for a bit and then fell asleep. it was great sleeping next to him tho…i havent slept that good in a long time!!!

but now I don’t know what to do….like i said up there I don’t want to say it just yet cuz I don’t want to rush into anything and then pull apart later but at the same time I have a hard time not saying it when I leave his place or when I’m saying goodnight to him before I go to bed…I just don’t know what to do. Another problem is that were not kissing much because he said he knows he wouldnt be able to control himself and probably grab me and throw me down somewhere. lol which I wouldn’t mind but its still too soon for that. so when we kiss its like a 2 second one and then he pulls away and kinda gives me that look..”sorry you know i want more kisses but i cant control what i might do” type of look. which I can see where hes coming from, when I kiss him I want more but I can control myself (most of the time lol). UGH why does have to be so difficult lol

well anyways I better go. I got alot of sun yesterday and got burnt on my face and chest and its starting to sting. BLAH lol