2/5/05

.Me.Right.Now.

Stuff here:Tic Tock .X. 6 pm .X.

Wearin .X. red pants and my garmisch tee .X.

Drinkin .X. coke .X.

Eatin .X. wheat thins .X.

Talkin to .X. heather .X.

Thinkin bout .X. about a lot of things…worrying about heather…wondering what my so called bf is doing .X.

hey guys!!

well not a lot to say. just sitting here thinking..yeah i know not a good idea!! but hey what can i do when im so bored. and right now i can really feel that heather is gone..i mean i felt it before but its different now. one reason is cuz heather is meeting her bf for the first time today and im suppose to be there to be her protection and im not…cuz like when she was still here scott was suppose to be coming to visit and she was gonna be my protection and everything and now that she moved and im still here i cant be hers and it really sucks…it also hurts me really bad. im not there to keep her calm…im not there for her at all. i just woke up this morning and started to cry cuz i realized shes really gone and im not there for her when she really needs me like i use to be. do you guys know what im talking about? do you have someone in your life that is there for you like that?? it just really hurts. i was just talking to her i was giving her advice and everything and its just funny how i know her so well..i mean i knew i did but you know when your with someone all the time you just dont really realize that you know them so well…but i really do! and i just really wish i was there with her. i guess it also hurts cuz shes moving on and im stuck here in this place and i cant move on…i mean i have a lil with hanging with new friends and were all really close but i mean shes moving on totally, meeting her bf without needing me. i mean i know if i was there she would want me to be there but still. it just HURTS so much. i cant even describe the pain i have right now. well i better go and get my self together and get some nice stuff on cuz my rents are having some ppl over and i cant look like ive been crying and look like bad…you know…tahts just not me!! well talk to you later!!

~meg~

legallyinsane

February 5, 2005

hey girlie…dry up those tears…ur still my best friend and theres nothing that can change that. and im not moving on really…i dont have many friends here and all i can think about is u guys back in hanau! if anything i thought u were moving on more then me! i guess we’re both left in the dark…lol! u know me more then anybody and i hope we stay friends forever…

…ur in my thoughts this after noon and will always be…dont forget to call!miss ya tonz and luv ya lotz! ~heather

Melly-Bell

Hi, Yeah I’m Mel you left a note on my diary. I just read this entry. I can say that I don’t know what it is exactly like to feel that way. I don’t know what I would do without Em. Heather kinda sounds like your version of my Emily. Sorry you have to deal with that…. Well I just wanted to say thanx for the note. Hope everything works out for ya.