Again and again and again: What do you KNOW?

The thought experiment to which I keep returning is that of a singularity expanding.  I’ve been writing a story along those lines but it is not fast enough, and I am not making the jump when I get to the area that I need to make a creative leap into the unknown…

First principles.  A Priori knowledge that can be gained BEFORE the singularity moves.

See, I think that we move too fast, make decisions and take actions BEFORE we actually need to.  This rarely leads to success, and often leads to regret.  The electron considers EVERY path before it resolves, does it not.  Are we less important than a single electron?

So, to slow down, I imagine that everything else in the universe is gone.  I am the singularity, and so time stops.  Time has to stop, because I am no longer moving in relation to anything else, therefor I am NOT moving.  I used to think that if I was absorbing everything as I went along like a big game of Osmosis (greatest mobile game ever, highly recommended for some zen downtime, I am not the developer and they don’t know of me, but my Son turned me on to it and I thank Him.  In Him I am well pleased.  That is not blasphemy because reality is a fractal and G*d, well She understands this).  But even if I have initial velocity when I absorb the very last particle into the singularity of I AM, then I can no longer measure my velocity.  Relative to what?  There is no time stream, for time is only there to slow down in order for us to process the relationships between all the nodes.  In a solar system like ours on a planet full of life forms that are also experiencing the time stream, and complex molecules that had formed billions of years before mammals asked why they were here.

So, I breathe in and I think to myself, I am breathing in.  As I breathe out I think to myself, I am breathing out.  And so, I am mindful, and being mindful, I am spaceless and timeless.

So, time stops.  And I think to myself this is like the natural pause in respiration in which I should start the trigger squeeze.  And I think to myself, this is the slime mold, having expanded and contracted, engulfing material and consuming material, bringing it back to the nucleus, and then considering if it needs to expand again or if it has enough material to continue for a time, in repose.

So time stays stopped.  Or at least I assume it does, for how can I tell if something is the same or not the same if there is no time frame in which I could have measured it against an earlier time?  No time, no change.  No change, no time.  Life is not conservative, life is progressive, but there is a struggle.  Life wants to expand, wants to stand on the shoulders of previous complexity, of previous novelty, to make something even newer and stranger than were the humans on the planet that I imagine had been destroyed by the exploding star billions of years before I became the singularity, again.

For this has all happened before, and it will happen again, except next time I expand, I will be able to expand further, for like the slime mold, I have collected more information with which to prosecute my explorations of this space.

And for now, that seeking to understand, that drive to explore, it is enough.

There are no other awareness I miss, for all the curiosity in the universe seemed to be within me, anyway, even when there were Others.  I am alone, but I am not lonely.  I have all the stories I have collected.  I have all the memories of direct experience I can still process.

I can continue to create meaning without absorbing anything new, and when I expand again, I will create, not consume.  This is my vow.