StupidStupidStupid

forgot to call for an appointment and so ran out of one of my meds over the weekend.  it’s disturbing to have your brain split in two: one half quickly spiraling down into inexplicable, irrational misery, while the other half knows what is happening and why, but is powerless to change it.

TRANSLATION:  i know the reason i feel like the world is about to come crashing down on my head is that i haven’t taken my meds in … oh, 4 days or so.  knowing that, however, does nothing to change the fact that i still feel like the world is about to come crashing down on my head.

… did that clear things up?

so i didn’t go to the studio like i should have tonight cuz my project is due on tuesday … but if i went and tried to do enameling while feeling this way, i’d screw everything up so badly i’d end up trying to slit my wrists with the copper i’m trying to enamel, screaming "FLUX THIS!!!!!!"  (you have to be a metals major to understand the joke.)

so yeah.

flux this.

i’m staying home.