Rejection

so did i mention that i got a rejection letter from Davey Tree last weekend?  yeah – this really sucks.

i just don’t know what i’m doing wrong, and i feel like i’m being paranoid when i entertain the idea that HR is giving my prospective employers more details than they are legally allowed to give.  if it can happen to Jon, it can happen to me.  … but that’s why i give the HR dept. number instead of having these people call Red directly … well, i guess i should talk to my OTHER two references and see if anyone has contacted them … *sigh*

i went through a period a week or two ago of sheer frustration; it was actually making me ill to be at work and all i could think about was being somewhere – ANYWHERE – else.  now i’ve pretty much reached a point of quietly tortured acceptance.  i know i want to get out of here so very very badly, and i know there are all these jobs (at least 5 or 6 a week from CB) that i am completely qualified for so i should go out and do it already … but if the last 3 months have been an indication, how qualified i am has SQUAT to do with getting hired, so i’d better just get used to an ass-ton of disappointment. 

i just don’t understand, though – Jon had so much more trouble in his employment history, and he still landed a great job in a company that has pleanty of room for advancement (if he would just learn to keep his mouth shut!!!), even though he had NO EXPERIENCE AT ALL with the products or even the area the company works in.  T&I got nice, well-paying jobs that fit their personalities great within a few months of moving here … P/T @ $13/hr??? 

WHAT ABOUT ME!!!!!

i know i sound like a whiney selfish person, but come ON!  i’m happy for everyone else, but now it needs to be MY turn!  Jon and i will not be able to get married or finally live on our own afterward if i don’t get a better job and SOON!! 

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!