Agony

Situational and physical.

My wrist to my elbow hurst from the beginnings of carpel tunnel
People are losing paperwork on me and slowing my progress down
I’ll probably have to stay over my offical time allowance (30 hrs) to finish the damn end-of-the-month business, and I sure as hell won’t be getting overtime for staying overtime
The place I interviewed with last Tuesday?  Yeah, I called 3 times yesterday and couldn’t talk to the woman I interviewed with
My knee is killing me, I don’t know why, but I’m too young for this shit to be happening to my body
My car is still making bad noises; if I have to take it to the shop again, I don’t know how I’m going to pay for it

I’m having a really hard time making myself NOT do something self-distructive … I have a very strong urge to drink like a "muthafucka" tonight and not take my meds so I don’t feel like (or actually) puke tomorrow morning, which even if I don’t puke will just make things worse

I don’t know what to do.  I want to blow up at my boss so badly, but it wouldn’t do any good because he just lets it go right through his head and then tells me how easy it should be for me to keep up with everything, plus I’d be afraid he’d just fire me for being "insubordinate".  Since when is telling your boss about job dissatisfaction insubordination? But that’s how he works.

Someone shoot me know so I don’t have to do it myself …