Money

Tonight Sharon and I were supposed to go out with our friend Rocky once I got home from work. Quitting time rolls around and I came home as fast as I could so we could have a nice time out without staying up too late. I was talking to Sharon after I got home and she said that she didn’t want to go out, she just wanted to crawl under the covers and die. Sometimes I’m a little thick or maybe it’s my natural tendency towards smartass-ism but I made a joke and blew her off. It took me almost another five minutes to figure out that she was upset. Truly upset and I didn’t even notice.

So once I realized it, we talked. Well, she talked and I listened.

I think I’ve written before about how I’ve never been good with money. I got into debt at an early age and I’ve been there ever since. And now that Sharon and I are married, it’s her debt too. That’s what’s worrying her. The Debt.

I can’t blame her for being worried either. I haven’t done a single damn thing to alleviate her fears. I’m acting the same way with money as I did when I was single. I put bills to the side -unopened mind you- meaning to sit down one night and go through everything but it doesn’t happen. The bank calls and misses me and I don’t call back right away. Sometimes ever. Everything is in my name and so Sharon can’t call it in herself, add to that the fact that she doesn’t really know the history on any of these because I haven’t gotten around to pulling out all the past bills and sitting down with her to go over everything.

I’m a procrastinator. I know it, I admit to it. I want to change it but it’s hard. It’s very hard. Sharon tries to help me, she’ll remind me to make a call or send a payment and I don’t thank her and do it. I get annoyed and put it off some more. I don’t know why I’m like this, it could be my stubborn streak or maybe it’s some deeply rooted psychological thing. I just don’t know.

I hate to make her worry, I don’t want to do it. But I’m having troubles myself that I haven’t talked to her about.

I’m working my tail off, I’ve been putting in 60+ hours between the two jobs lately. I’m exhausted all the time. I’m not trying to use this as an excuse but as background. My problem is that I don’t know what I can do to bring in more income. I’d work more but then I’d have less time with Sharon and Sage. I could find another part time job that would pay more but they might not be as flexible around my other job as this one is. It’s really tough. I’m at a loss. I know that I need to get my act together and I think with Sharon’s help I can. It’s bringing in the income to get the bills taken care of that I’m worried about. I just don’t know what to do and it scares me.

Vellosa

October 9, 2004

you handle finances like i do. :o( it’s hard to change.

The Kid

Have you tried Credit counseling? If you have, do it again. With a reputable company…they can and do help. Be Well,

zinn

October 10, 2004

I don’t know what else you can do…you are working your butt off. What else could you possibly do? I wish I had some great advice to give, but I don’t. Just don’t get down on yourself. I think you are doing a awesome job. Keep on truckin’.

Vitus Vinifera

October 18, 2004

Debt sucks. I know. Have you sat down with Excel and made a plan? If you make a spreadsheet of how much you owe and when it needs to be paid, it can seem less overwhelming. I had 4 big debts going into this summer: my dad, a doctor, a hospital, the IRS and the state tax people. I’ve finally paid off the doctor and am now working on the hospital and making smaller payments to the others.

(c) I put the letter from the doctor’s office saying that I paid them off up on the fridge. It makes me feel like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. And there is. 🙂

I think it is time for Sharon to get with reality and for her to get a job. Is it fair for you to carry all of this burden on your shoulders? No, it isn’t. There is no valid excuse for her to not get a job. Women have babies and husbands and they work. There are people available to help with childcare. It is not practical for her to not work. You need a break. Maybe it wasn’t her debt to start

the fact is you two have a baby and she and baby will cost money to support. Your problems with money will grow and grow unless she steps up and helps.

One of the main reasons I don’t want to marry my boyfriend right now is because of his unbelievable amount of bad credit card debt. I don’t even want to think about the amount of money that he owes and I don’t want it to become my debt. Money’s a hard thing for couples to talk about but maybe it’s time for you two to have a long talk about how things are going to be solved?