Happy Birthday Mathew – where ever you are…

From the moment I held you in my arms when you were a few days old, to the day the goddamned CAS took you from me. I have loved you through and through. Even though we had our moments… I never stopped caring. And I remember that you never did either. Where ever you are, just know this. YOU ARE LOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy birthday to the best nephew ever. I love you.

Mathew is my nephew from my foster sister and her janky bf Jimmy. He was born at 9am on October 14th 1992. I remember babysitting Chantal and trying not to worry about Lorie. Mathew was a brilliant kid and funny too. I love him with all my heart. I had taken Lorie to the hospital the day before she gave birth. After that, I had a charge named Chantal of a friend of mine that I looked after periodically through out my teenaged years.

He is now a full grown man. And I am proud that I raised him the best I could. In the end it wasn’t enough. Lorie was too far gone with her partying… and his grandmother was a sodding drunk. 🙁 So… and they (the Children’s Aid Society) took him from me… as I was deemed unfit bc of my mental illness.

But… you know? Things do not change.

This is a love letter to him.

Sammy