preparation?

i have this giant entry i want to write.

i’ve been more or less writing it in my head. if it weren’t for my fat fingers, or the fact that i have to write in my line breaks in html on the mobile site, i might just break down and write it here. but it’s an important entry (for me) so… it’s gonna take time.

been thinking about abby a lot lately. the anger seems to have finally faded and now i just miss what we had. i miss the kids something fierce, but don’t really miss her.

actually, you know who i miss… Lindsey.

i don’t know how she does it, but she has a tendency to text or call me when i’m feeling low. we constantly text throughout the day, every day. she calls often (i don’t like interrupting time with her family), and we skype every few days.

for not being in a relationship with her, it certainly feels like we are.

she’s so amazing, caring, giving, loving… she is stunning, her beautiful brown eyes, her long gorgeous hair, her sexy and exquisite body… she’s funny, doesn’t get too serious, goofy and silly, smart and low key… and i realize i’m in love with this enchanting creature and have been since the day i met her so many years ago. through our highs and lows, we’ve become best friends, and i am glad to have her in my life, even if this is the most that will ever come of it. the exciting adventures, the anime marathons, the long mornings in bed.

and as if everything wasn’t confusing enough, she’s so excited to have me meet her family when i get home this weekend. (did i tell you all i was going home to Seattle this weekend?) it looks like i’m going to go spend the night at her parents’ house with them and hang out. they want to take me out to dinner (for getting them all tickets to the Nutcracker). i’m excited to finally meet them (if not a bit scared) because i’ve hung out several times when Lindsey has skyped with them and kind of already know them. lol

what am i doing… >.<

anyway. i leave sunday to go home (if this blizzard doesn’t ground me) and my new laptop should be waiting for me when i get there. then i can write the entry that i simultaneously dread and ache to write.

my wrists are killing me from holding my phone like this… gonna go. take care!

– noah